United Recap - Owww, My Toothskin!

You know - skin of the teeth and all that razzmatazz? United looked distinctly out of sorts in the first half as the forwards could not maintain possession and Carroll was not able to get wide and dangerous in the same manner than Olsen does (maybe he needs to grow a beard - wait, can he grow a beard? maybe he'll knit one out of an argyle sweater). Dichio and Samuel were causing the United back line a lot of problems. Fortunately, TFC are just a bad, banged up team right now that couldn't score in a . . . well, we'll leave that to your dirty little minds. You sick bastards!

Thank heavens that Troy Perkins is getting back to his form of yore. After watching the decidedly awful play of the Red Bull netmen lately (I laughed so hard at Conway's gift to the Revs that I think I sprained something), Perkins looks like god - or demi-god . . . let's settle on "Hurculean by comparison" or something similar. He really saved United's bacon last night and deserved MOTM honors.

Despite all the suckitude going on with United's play in the first half, they were able to grab the lead through Fred via Route One, since we weren't making much progress any other way. The second half was a bit better as the introduction of Moreno settled the possession game and the further addition of Kpene started shading the chances in United's favor. Unable to find the second to kill the game, United had to suffer through a series of late rushes by TFC under the shadow of the Mighty Ferris Wheel of Toronto, but were able to emerge with another three points, putting them in 2nd place on the big table, just 3 points back of the Revs with 2 games in hand.

If we can win or draw in the remaining match with the Revs at RFK, we'll have the tiebreaker advantage for head to head, and we've currently got the advantage in goal difference as well if it comes to the second tiebreaker. As I head off to get my Sunday morning buzz on for the Spurs contra Man U smackdown, I leave you with Brian Carroll, patron saint of snazzy argyle . . .