Beckspiracy Defined

beck·spir·a·cy (bɛk-spîr'ə-sē)
n. pl. beck·spir·a·cies
  1. a nefarious plot by a demonic cabal amongst the staff scriptwriters at MLS HQ that is designed to end in the LA (abbr. from: Lalas' Abomination) Galaxy winning MLS Cup 2007, despite the undeniable harm that will be done to both the credibility and reputation of the league as a whole should such an event occur
  2. the series of events leading to David Beckham's messianic return to the Galaxy just in time for the MLS Cup playoffs, where he scores from one free-kick opportunity per game until the final, where he transforms into a being of pure light and converts the American sporting public into fans of the beautiful game, eradicating any memory of the beastly corruption currently known as "football" in the United States
  3. events said to include (1) the Wizards' unreasoning hatred of Pete Vagenas, thus precipitating two red cards and corresponding suspensions, (2) the witchcraft that has allowed the Galaxy to be out-shot and out-played, often times heavily, in the last three matches, but still manage victories, (3) the voodoo hex that have made any LA shot on goal find the back of the net in the last two fixtures (3 shots on goal = 3 goals scored), (4) the mysteriously indifferent or outright awful form of LA's four rivals for the final two playoff spots, (5) Chicago's run of bad luck that is keeping them from victories, including but not limited to: stoppage time equalizers, PK calls, temporary goalkeeper paralysis resulting in Moreno's equalizer for DC, opposition netminders transforming into "superkeepers" to foil the Fire, et al
  4. not to be confused with "Becks' Pirate Sea", a private expanse of water somewhere in the Caribbean and not subject to the International Law of the Sea, stocked with extras and props from the popular Disney movie franchise and resulting from one of several "secret clauses" reputed to be part of David Beckham's MLS compensation package

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