Tickle
- Burch from distance!
- John Terry gets some not-so-instant, just-add-Clint karma, busting his cheekbone just a week after his arrogant attempt to snatch the red card and play referee himself. Add this to the Carling Cup final boot to the head and you've got to say, "is it the willingness to stick a head in bravely, or a vengeful universe getting its due?" I'll lodge my vote firmly with the ill-tempered universe. Shape up Mr. Terry. You have been warned!
- Wednesday are off the bottom on the strength of back-to-back victories, though they can't manage the three-peat against top of the table Watford. Come on, you Owls!
Tackle
- Goddamn Ludovic Giuly and his frustrated attempts to play keeper for ruining what was shaping up to be a lovely Inter-Roma match.
- Wow! And you thought your momma dressed you funny?
- Doesn't it seem like there is something inherently wrong with a universe that allows Jay Heaps to win silverware? The Arch-thug and his Revs finally win the "big" one to claim the US Open Cup. Couldn't have happened to a less deserving guy. Whether he's bitching at refs; diving whilst committing a foul in order to avoid cards; screaming at his teammates, the linesman, and the water boy to boot; or just generally thugging it up in petty fits of jealousy against players blessed with the talent he so obviously lacks, Heaps represents most of what is wrong with futbol.
- Speaking of what's wrong with futbol! What's worse than a fan running out on a pitch and daring to touch a player during a match? Why Dida's Disgraceful Dive in the aftermath, of course. I mean, no way should that "fan" be on the pitch, but what an absolute ass the Milan netminder makes of himself, to the point of even being stretchered off. Disgraceful! Who says diving is rampant in Italian futbol?
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