That's One Mighty Midget!

Pre-season is finally here!

United opened their stay in Florida by beating up a bunch of teenagers. Of course, most of those teenagers were probably still of a height to be looking down on DC's vertically-challenged winter signing Franco Niell. Or rather, perhaps they spent some time gazing up at the tiny Argentine forward as he managed to direct the ball netwards with his noggin for two of his three goals, including one from . . . ( . . . dramatic drumroll . . . wait for it . . . hold it . . .) . . . a CORNER KICK!

Sweet Mother Mary on a catwalk!

A corner kick goal! From DC United! Scored by a midget! Will wonders never cease in this age of miracles? I fully expect Jaime to dip into the fountain of youth while in the Sunshine State, Kpene to actually find the net this year, Dyachenko to put forth something resembling an effort for us, Gallardo to walk across the Anacostia whilst providing fish and booze for all of Lot 8, and a grinning Peralta to stand astride a pile of bloodied MLS forwards in a cloak fashioned from three-weeks worth of trimmings from the almighty beard of Beninho Olsen!

Back to the lonely and distinctly boring real world, it was also good to see Gallardo involved in setting the table on a couple of occasions. Also, our friends over at the Edgell Supporters will be overjoyed with this nugget:
Marc Burch would close out the scoring just three minutes from time after the team was awarded a free kick 22 yards from goal. The defender stepped up to the ball and drove a laser into the far corner past the helpless goalkeeper.
I'll have to admit that I'm leaning towards "Burch-Bomb" over the Edgell Supporters' "Burchie from Distance" moniker for the wicked left-footed blasts he unleashes. Of course, what I'm really waiting for is Clyde Simms to knock in a long-ranger as he managed to on a couple of occasions last year so I can break out the awe-inspiring "Clyde-winder Missile" tag.

Next up will be some decidedly more mature competition as United move from the U-17 Nats to the U-23's tomorrow morning.


  1. you really are hilarious, you know that? :)

    I told everyone that we underestimated Franco Niell. I'm already a fan.

  2. Four minutes later, Niell was on the board again after a sequence that began with Gallardo. The Argentine midfielder lofted a ball behind the defense to rookie midfielder Dan Stratford who sent a controlled header into the middle of the pitch and towards onrushing Niell just outside the goal box. The lofted ball fell in-step with Niell, who struck a first-time volley with the outside of his right foot that curved past the goalkeeper and tucked perfectly into the upper left corner of the net.

    I'm excited about this play too. Sounds to me like a perfectly placed cross from Danny Stratford. A goal from a corner kick, AND possibly a winger with crossing ability?!?!

  3. Yeah Dan Stratford! a Suppie with talent!!! yahh!! Good job bro!

    I can not WAIT to see Niell on the field this season! I'm so bloody excited I can't stand it!

    By the way, does anyone know when (if) Gallardo, Emilio & Fred will arrive at training camp?

  4. @shatz
    Not that I was there or anything, but it sounds more like the Bard just knocked a header into Niell's path for the mighty mite to blast home--not really a crossing opportunity--and I don't think he's projected to play wide.

    Gallardo played in this game and had a couple of assists. Emilio and Fred are sorting out visa issues and should arrive soon.