United opened their stay in Florida by beating up a bunch of teenagers. Of course, most of those teenagers were probably still of a height to be looking down on DC's vertically-challenged winter signing Franco Niell. Or rather, perhaps they spent some time gazing up at the tiny Argentine forward as he managed to direct the ball netwards with his noggin for two of his three goals, including one from . . . ( . . . dramatic drumroll . . . wait for it . . . hold it . . .) . . . a CORNER KICK!
Sweet Mother Mary on a catwalk!
A corner kick goal! From DC United! Scored by a midget! Will wonders never cease in this age of miracles? I fully expect Jaime to dip into the fountain of youth while in the Sunshine State, Kpene to actually find the net this year, Dyachenko to put forth something resembling an effort for us, Gallardo to walk across the Anacostia whilst providing fish and booze for all of Lot 8, and a grinning Peralta to stand astride a pile of bloodied MLS forwards in a cloak fashioned from three-weeks worth of trimmings from the almighty beard of Beninho Olsen!
Back to the lonely and distinctly boring real world, it was also good to see Gallardo involved in setting the table on a couple of occasions. Also, our friends over at the Edgell Supporters will be overjoyed with this nugget:
Marc Burch would close out the scoring just three minutes from time after the team was awarded a free kick 22 yards from goal. The defender stepped up to the ball and drove a laser into the far corner past the helpless goalkeeper.I'll have to admit that I'm leaning towards "Burch-Bomb" over the Edgell Supporters' "Burchie from Distance" moniker for the wicked left-footed blasts he unleashes. Of course, what I'm really waiting for is Clyde Simms to knock in a long-ranger as he managed to on a couple of occasions last year so I can break out the awe-inspiring "Clyde-winder Missile" tag.
Next up will be some decidedly more mature competition as United move from the U-17 Nats to the U-23's tomorrow morning.