DC United Reaction - Recipe For Disaster

Ouch! Well, that went about as well as I predicted in last week's Dogpile. Take all of the emotion and energy spent in the midweek win/loss against Pachuca and the cup exit, add a dash of formation experimentation, stir in some rested starters, spread it on a crappy rug, and you've got a recipe for disaster. And what else can you call a 4-0 spanking by RSL? Anybody else notice that if you say "RSL" really quickly it sounds like "arsehole"? Whatever. Let's move on to some talking points . . .

* I'm not even sure where to begin. So much awful! It hurts to even think about it. In fact, I'm going to start self-medicating as we proceed through this post, so forgive me any typos or rambling incoherence that may result (well any more than the usual quota anyway ;-).

* Jesus, I hope Salt Lick get that new stadium built right quick! Our record on that rug is simply awful, but give us a decent patch of grass and I bet we turn things around pretty quickly. United's vaunted possession game is wasted on that gridiron-tattooed tennis court. Also, Peralta and Carvallo looked pretty lost on the bouncy-bouncy stuff. And of course, there is the little-mentioned fact that RSL actually have a pretty decent side this year. In fact, I even think they'll make the playoffs. Still, none of that excuses 4-0.

* Okay, I get that the 3-back system has been working pretty well as of late, but I've got a couple of questions. One--why was Mediate one of the back three? I get that we're making him a utility wide-man, and I can see him playing fullback, but why wouldn't you play Mediate on the wing with McTavish in the back? Not that Mediate made that many mistakes--I'm just curious. On to question two. Why go with the three backs when the surface encourages pump-and-dump over the top stuff? I understand the need to rest folks due to fixture congestion, but wouldn't Martinez' speed have been pretty helpful back there?

* Doesn't MLS have it's fair share of Cro-Magnon footballers without having to import them from the British Isles? How about we toss Deuchar and Dicchio back across The Pond with a big "No Thank You" stapled to their shorts. [This message brought to you by The Friends of the Beautiful Game. No animals were harmed in the making of this message--save perhaps whatever variety of dead animal pelt is adorning Kyle Beckerman's noggin. I'm Fullback, and I approved this message.]

* That was some pathetic attacking play. Did we even have a shot on goal? Oh yeah, McTavish hit that decent curling try with his left. Any others? Moreno's 40-yard roller? Ugh. For once, wRongen is right. Take the tape for this one, pull it out, cut it into little pieces, toss it on a bonfire, sweep the ashes into a 55-gallon drum, stick it in a rocket, and shoot it into the goddamn sun! Here's hoping we got all the crap flushed out of our system with that game.

In fact, I'm just going to stick my fingers in my ears right now and start yelling "NAH NAH NAH" while I sweep any memory of this abomination under the carpet. Please Mommy, make the hurting stop! And make the ugly man with the mop on his head go away! Pretty please?