DC United Reaction - Keystone Kops Defending

Alright, lets all get our knickers untwisted and our brows squeegeed. United ekes out a 3-1 win with a generous assist from San Jose's misfiring offense, a couple of deflections, and James Riley's awful timing. I know that if I'm in the FM locker room for the post game chat, it's running along the lines of "disappointed with the effort" or maybe even "despite the result, the performance was awful". That later may be a bit harsh, but maybe harsh words are needed. To the talking points, Batman!

* The Keystone Kops defending has got to stop! Between Wells' lame ass handling and defenders knocking each other down in their efforts to close down freakin' "we've only got ten goals this season" San Jose, I shudder to think what the 2+ goal-a-game Galaxy offense are going to do to us. I don't think I've ever gone into a game fearing Edson Buddle before. God damn you, crappy defense! Look what you've brought me to!

* It wasn't just on the goal that Gonzalo Martinez was bombing forward. And what a peach of a goal it was! Fullbacks everywhere will be putting that one in a replay loop on the HD sets tonight. [pauses to wipe tear away] I had an admittedly small (and oft-interrupted) view of the match, but I lost track of the times that I would catch sight of that #23 well forward in attack, and the MLSNet highlights seem to confirm that.

* It took a while, but Emiligol bagged another to keep the heat on LA's Buddonovan (Donaddle? Budonavuddle?) in the race for the Golden Boot. Time to hold my hand up and beg forgiveness for doubting the man's ability. After all is done and dusted, he appears to be on track to meet my pre-season expectation of 15 goals this season.

* My audio was coming courtesy of an earbud piping in Tony Limarzi, and I've got just one burning question (amid sundry smoldering ones). If that tackle by Riley wasn't deserving of a red, what is? Christ! The dude launches himself, studs up and both legs extended, from what--two miles away? It's a miracle that he managed to hurt himself rather than detaching McTavish's foot from his ankle.

* Here's hoping Tommy-boy puts a pretty solid boot up the collective backside, because that was a team that came out expecting a win, rather than expecting a fight. This is the difference between a confident, in-form team and the mess we had at the beginning of the year. We can put in a lame showing and still get away with a result. That said, San Jose is one of the few sides that we can expect that kind of thing to happen against. Big boot, Tommy--I'm just saying.

Okay, so the unbeaten streak stretches to five. We've managed to crawl up towards the right end of the table and are (barring much of today and the defense + keeper) playing some good stuff. Of course, we've managed to do most of that at home, and SuperLiga is inexorably approaching, like a glacier ready to crush our nascent revival before it vaults us to our rightful perch atop a bloody hill of MLS also-rans.

So what's the next move? Damn the torpedoes! Go and fetch me a golden Becks pelt and bring me the severed head of that punk Donovan (just don't forget to sew it back on so Frankendonovan can take care of his national team duties ;-).

Vamos United!


  1. I wouldn't say that I'm going into the game fearing Budonavuddle, but United has certainly got to play better. As long as we can avoid giving up more than 1 early goal, we've got a good shot.

  2. When journeyman converted midfielders (Ryan Johnson--seriously, check his Wikipedia page for the travels he's been on!), goofy-looking English scrubs, and rookies have your defense bonking their noggins together, whiffing on their tackles, and scrambling balls off the line, I don't think it's a big leap to breaking out the Depends for the visit of Budonavuddle ;-).