Let Me Get This Straight

So let me get this whole "Designated Player" thing figured out. Bear with me.

1. Sign world star with many caps for big national team. Flash the colors. Sell some shirts.


2. See moments of brilliance buried amidst general disinterested apathy and injury setbacks. Check!

3. MLS club enters off-season expecting return of designated player. Check!

4. Player has head turned during return visit to place of origin (eg. Sudamerica, Euro-land). Check!

5. Player engineers return (either immediate or prolonged) to storied club in said land of origin. Check!

6. Miraculous recovery of former skill level leads to sterling showings for new club and displays of unabashed joy at doing so.


Double Check!

So, what's going on here? Are we to believe that MLS is some kind of weird fountain of youth for these guys, rejuvenating careers that seemed to be on the decline? What's next? Freddy Ljungberg goes to Barcelona to "keep in shape" over the 09-10 off-season and ends up defecting to the Camp Nou where he goes on a rampage with a smile a mile wide as he's buried under the embraces of Messi, Xavi, Puyol, et al?

[Special thanks to commenter QJA for the Gallardo-shaped video spur for this post.]


  1. Happy to be of service. =)

  2. Service, eh? Perhaps I should implement some sort of, I don't know . . . Fullback Corps?