DC United Next Coach Cup | The Final

Our fearless, delusional leadership is busy spending "concentrated time discussing who fits the vision we have," dragging in the EFCOGs and apparently leaving no domestic stone unturned. All this in hopes of having a new boss installed in a month (they "hope" — I remember last years' debacle, so you'll grant me a little skepticism).

Fine. Fat lot of good it'll do whoever lands the job given the tools that the myopic meat puppets pulling the personnel strings will hand them. Accountability? Where? Must have missed it on the way in...

Anyway, let's get the final contestants strapped into the Thunderdome, shall we?

In the bald corner...former Northern Ireland international and journeyman forward of various tiers of English football, the dismissed Dallas boss turned "General" of Puerto Rico; it's 48 year-old Colin Clarke!


A strong run has seen the boss of the recently crowned D2 champion Islanders force his way into the final, ending the cinderella charge of Earnie Stewart.

And his competition, in the hirsute corner...a one-club man (loans be damned...particularly that one, and you all know why), trying to drop that "interim" bit from his coaching tag, the Bearded Bombardier, the tireless former midfielder with the heart of a lion; it's 33 year-old Ben Olsen!


Olsen's faced the stiffer competition on his road to the final, narrowly hanging on by a single vote to beat out Caleb Porter in the semifinals. 

This one's for all the tainted marbles in that rat-infested pile of rubble on the Anacostia. You know the drill, folks...


The polls close on Sunday evening with a Monday morning post mortem to follow. Democracy, thou tattered whore, let's do this thing!

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