MLS All-Star Game Recap

OK, so let's just put this in one word shall we? Beckham. Ah there, that feels good to get it off your chest doesn't it? Go ahead, say it again! All the cool kids are doing it.

Honestly. There was a game on last night right? You'd forgive my skepticism if you happened to be indulging the in Great American Pastime of channel surfing. Every time you flip back to ESPN's Beckham Iso-cam (wait...there's a game - where?) you'd be treated to watching his holiness watching the game. Paint drying time.

So here's the recap:

Beckham history lesson.
Repeat Beckham history lesson.
Oh hey, there a game going on.
Hmm, I see the MLS All-Stars, where's the other team?
Beckham.
All-Stars are passing it about pretty well for a hodgepodge.
I like Ricardo Clark!
Beckham.
EJ "assists" the referee's decision.
EJ blows the PK.
Beckham.
Blah blah blah
Wow, did EJ's touch improve drastically in the last couple of weeks? Must be the hair and he's still looking confident despite the pen being saved.
Beckham.
Sideline interview (shockingly it's not with Beckham, but we do manage to be chatting with Pablo while Angel scores - so score another for ESPN.)
Hey am I drunk? Wait, I'm not drinking! Oh, it's CrazyCam-on-a-wire, just in case you really wanted to know what if would be like to watch the game from the comfort of a radio-controlled helicopter zooming about the stadium.
Beckham.
Hey kids Celtic-Rangers religious zealotry is fun! Now with added violence!
Disney/Chelski cross-promotional plug.
Beckham.
Toja has mad skill.
Does Celtic have a hard man in the midfield to stop folks having possession?
Beckham.
Toja doubles the tally for the "why aren't they in the Colombian national team picture" stars.
Blah blah blah halftime, someone please shoot me. (Beckham)
Random mandatory crappy ass band.
Beckham walking towards an ambulance (ruh-roh!)
We're we playing Celtic, when do they show up?
Pass it about.
Oh hey, the boys in hoops are starting to wake up (maybe I will soon as well).
ZZZZZZ
Beckham.
Whuh? Hey, did Chinger ever touch that or were the MLSAS (mulsass?) just denied a third by dodgy officials?
Wow, Lando's gonna have to go down to SuperCuts and ask for the Kasey Keller. Damn, someone clock that hairline, it may be receding well over the speed limit!
Beckham.
Cobi Freakin' Jones. Ugh. maybe he can give Captain Kissypooh a hair transplant?
Beckham on a plane. (is that better or worse than snakes?)
Snore.
Game over.
Can we get back to the regular season now?