Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe - Part III

The journey continues. Yesterday, we narrowed the once mighty field of twenty to a much more manageable five. Today we examine the five remaining contestants a bit further by taking a quick look at my good and bad impressions of each team and do a word-association test to see what dark connections lurk in my mind that may get a club booted from my graces. Alright, you guys, get in alphabetical order and let's do this thing!

  • The Good: The Gunners play the beautiful game, with intricate passing and team play that is beautiful to watch.
  • The Bad: They've got more than their standard quota of "punks you'd like to see get hit by a lorry", including the king of such bastards - Herr Lehmann.
  • Word Association: style, class, grace, sneer, shrug, space, fast. Hmmm, sort of a mixed bag there and the sneer and shrug bits are a bit worrying, though I'm sure the shrug thing has to be the typical Henry pose, and since he's off to Spain, we'll disregard that a bit.
Aston Villa
  • The Good: They've got a decent, if unspectacular mix of players, an American owner, and I've always liked rooting for the "villain".
  • The Bad: They don't really have much flash and style about them and though I can't find many players on the roster that I despise, I can't really find any that I love either.
  • Word Association: bland, wings, speed, erratic, stumble. Where'd that last one come from? Well, again the signs are not positive though speedy wings is typically a good omen. It might be a problem that not many words immediately jump to mind as that shows a lack of connection to the team already.
Blackburn Rovers
  • The Good: Yank keeper, ex-DC United center-back, a bit of flair from the wide positions, and some proven scoring punch. Also, their new away kit is pretty darn sweet.
  • The Bad: Off all the survivors, they might be the one most likely to struggle (though Villa may have something to say about that). While they have a lot of individual flair, the team as a whole is pretty direct and uncomplicated.
  • Word Association: tough, tackle, block, sharp, crack, rocket, volley. They do tend to hit those massive volleys from distance don't they? Tugay, Pedersen, Reid, Bentley, and McCarthy can all hit the bomb with regularity. The words flowed pretty quickly for Rovers as well, so that's a plus.
  • The Good: Yank keeper (again), history of American players, and great fan support. Arteta is class and always puts me in mind of Christian Gomez. They've got some exciting young talent as well and always seem to have more coming up through the youth ranks.
  • The Bad: As with Blackburn, they're not the most stylish team to watch. Plus, and this may just be me, but they seem to bleed a lot and I'm afraid that I've got a bit of a queasy stomach when it comes to blood.
  • Word Association: blood, bald, efficient, strong, youth, fierce. The bald thing is kind of harsh, but then the truth is like that some times. The first words flowed really quickly, but then it dropped off. Hmm . . . worrying.
Tottenham Hotspur
  • The Good: Loads of talent on a team that likes to play stylish, inventive futbol. Great quality up top and an oft-shaky defense means that there are usually loads of goals. Odd, colorful club names are always a bonus. And yet again with the nice away kit. Simple, but stylish - and the logo really blends well.
  • The Bad: They're sometimes stagnant on the road, possibly as a result of the team not seeming to have a tremendous amount of steel to it. More than say, their derby rivals Arsenal, but not exactly stocked with hard men.
  • Word Association: grace, panache, fast, goals, tall, class. Well, that's a pretty universally good impression. Guess who I think is going to be moving on?
And the losers are (drumroll please?) . . .

Arsenal and Aston Villa!

Arsenal are beautiful to watch, but I really don't like William Gallas, and that goes quadruple for Jens Lehmann. So a lot of love and a lot of hate and in the end, I don't want to have to watch Lehmann dive and bitch his way through another season more than I have to so bye, bye Gunners. Villa have the opposite problem as they are just a bit, well, vanilla. Kind of like cheering for oatmeal, or maybe a pile of cardboard boxes.

So that leaves us with a final trio of contenders. Tomorrow will bring the ultimate decision. Will it be ├╝ber-stylish Spurs, blood and guts Everton, or rough and ready Rovers? Stay tuned for the final installment of Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.

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