Tickle v Tackle - Midvale School For The Gifted


That other United smashed the Gunners handily in the FA Cup, led by Nani dishing up the balls for Darren Fletcher to nod home. Beat by the head of Darren freakin' Fletcher? That's gotta smart for Arsene's Gunner garçons--though Fletcher does have a tendency to stick his big tartan noggin in when it counts. Let the mind games begin in the race for the Premier League crown! . . . Ha, ha, ha, ha (wipes tear away). The drama goes on between the Metrobulls and that Windy City Burning Sensation. How freakin' outstanding does the United front office look with these clowns getting bullied by players, swinging handbags at each other, offering up players "not for sale", and generally looking ridiculous? . . . The UEFA Champions' League knockout round first legs were, by and large, fantastic watching with some truly outstanding goals. But--please, please, please tell me that we can't end up with a Milan-Chelsea final. Please? . . . MLS Philadelphia, anyone? Yes, sir--sign me up! Maybe United will finally have a competitive Mid-Atlantic rival now.


Now, I only saw highlights of the Inter-Liverpool Champions' League throwdown, but I almost stood and cheered when that cretin Materazzi was sent off. Between him and his Liverpool counterpart Jamie Carragher, you've got the makings of what could possibly be my Most Hated center back pairing. Snarling pair of back-alley hackmongering villains--they'd get on like a house afire with MLS Thug-strordinaire Jay Heaps. Sure they've got that . . . what's it called? Determination! Right--they've got determination [to be complete pricks--ed.]. But Carragher--in true Heaps fashion--has bloody little else (you just had to trot out the Albionism, didn't you, you pretentious sod!), and Materazzi deserves to see red in every game just by virtue of being such a spectacular jackass . . . News out of DC United pre-season camp says that the Bard is close to signing on the dotted line with United. Here's hoping! With Carroll-the-middling-son out 4-6 months and Olsen on the shelf, that leaves what manner of Plan B at d-mid should Simms go down or face suspension? Ugh, it's waaaaay too early to be worried about crap like this. JACOBSONNNNNN!!! . . . The Galaxatives drop a steaming turd (love the pic of a bemused Becks--obviously in awe of the talent arrayed around him) in the Pan-Galactic Ultimate Smackdown Challenge Cup-League-Shootout, or whatever it's called. Meanwhile, the Dynamo chug right along into the final. A sign of things to come for the season ahead?


  1. You obviously didn't see the Arsenal-Milan game...it may have ended 0-0, but anyone who watched it knows that Arsenal would have won something like 20-5 if every shot was on target. Milan got embarrassed by the Gunnerzzzz!!! It gave me a great laugh. For the first time in a long, long time, I actually laughed at a football match. LAUGHED! I mean it was just so hilarious! The so-called champions being all but destroyed! You missed a great game... ha, ha, ha... *wipes tear away*

    (And an FA Cup win will do nothing to advance Machester United's points in the Prem...in case you haven't noticed, ARSENAL is in FIRST by FIVE POINTS!!!!!!!!)


  2. Um, I wasn't saying that Arsenal wasn't in complete control against Milan--they were. The sad fact is that Milan still managed a pretty good result despite playing negative, crappy football. If a series of such results lead to another final for them, I'll be extremely disappointed, but not entirely surprised, which was my point--I don't want to endure the snooze-fest of a Milan-Chelsea final.

    And yes, I know you love your Gunners, but did you see that FA Cup match? They were awful. Much as I hate to see Rooney and Co. win anything, they pretty much bent your boys over the barrel there.

    My only interest is in seeing things come down the stretch in the Prem with the title up for grabs. Oh, and seeing that clown Lehmann embarrassed again and again. I have nothing against the rest of Arsenal (well, excepting maybe Gallas), but Lehmann can never endure too much humiliation.

  3. If it gets down to Milan-Chelsea (which it will not), I will pretty much die...that would be soooo boring... :P

    I couldn't watch the FA Cup match...I was in school. IK didn't have to watch it to know that Arsenal sucked. Everyone has those days, whatever. I wasn't too upset about it (mostly because I really don't give about the FA Cup).

    I wish Alumnia would start...I don't like Lehmann too much either...what's wrong with Gallas?

    Who the heck DO you like in the Prem anyway? (Don't say Fulham, how American of you lol)

  4. By the way...excellent job smashing RBNY in this entry. I must say, DCU's front office looks freakin' brilliant :)

  5. Holy..................

    I just found my new Most Hated Player...MARTIN TAYLOR.


  6. Eduardo
    I can't even bring myself to look at the pictures of the aftermath. I watched Match of the Day and saw the challenge and that was enough--the combination of the players'/physio's reactions and the fact that they wouldn't show images of the injury were enough to convince me that it would be better for my admittedly-weak stomach not to have a look.

    Pardon my French (pun intended), but the dude is bat-shit insane--and that's not just his current hairstyle.

    The Prem
    My English side is Sheffield Wednesday, currently battling relegation from the Championship, so I really have no allegiances in the Premier League. My thinking on whether I like clubs or not runs thusly--(1) if you've got money and you still play crap futbol, you suck (Chelsea, Liverpool for the most part), (2) if you're financially hamstrung compared to the elites, I like to see heart, good team play, and the odd bit of flair (Blackburn, Everton), (3) if you get the ball down and play pretty stuff, I'll enjoy watching you (Arsenal, ManU), but I'll probably root for the underdog on principle ;-), and (4) if you have Americans or ex-DC United players or have a history of employing such, I'll by sympathetic to your cause.

  7. I saw the video of Eduardo's injury, and I almost cried...really I did...it's something that I'm very sensitive to, I guess. I can't even watch fake violence in movies. It's not so much that I can't take the blood, it's the intent behind it or the consequences ahead of it that just kill me. Now that I've rethought this, though, I actually feel a bit bad for Martin Taylor too. I mean, he had awful attitude about it like "what did I do" instead of "um whoa I broke his leg are you ok?" which really bugged me. But it will probably ruin his reputation. As for Eduardo, it may have ruined his career, which is very, very sad.

    I must admit Gallas's hairstyle is ridiculous. I have nothing against him though, really. The only player I dislike on Arsenal is Hleb. I just really don't like his attitude. And he screws up plays a lot.

    Wow. Your allegiances are complicated...then again I'm not one to talk :) I can't really stand English football, actually. That's why I love Arsenal so much. Well, off to blog on Barcelona. I'm so bloody excited you have no idea!!!