Tickle v Tackle is normally a mid-week column, but . . .
Fullback's Mega-Tackle of the Week: Who the hell was that hyperkinetic fool GolTV had doing the play-by-play for Barcelona-Levante? I just flicked on the tube while folding some laundry and got steamrollered by this idiot blathering on about 'Dinho (Ronaldinho, I presume) and how he'd work at GolTV for free because it's so freakin' FANTASTIC! Look at this pass! Look at that flick! Holy Jebus, GolTV is manna from heaven! La Liga is the bomb! Let's check your sweet emails! How many goals are Barca gonna bang in on GolTV? Check it out--I'm on GolTV! Did you hear me mention how great it is to watch Spanish futbol on Gol-freakin'-TV? I'm out of my goddamn mind (for GolTV)!
Now, I'm not one to criticize a bit of well-placed enthusiasm, and the man/woman/tentacled being upstairs knows that I love me some hyperbolic Hudson, but holy crap, that guy made super-cheerleader Rob Stone look like a prim Victorian matron by comparison! He was spread so wide for GolTV that it hurt to even listen to it. In fact, after about the first five minutes, I stopped doing so altogether.
GolTV--still bumping their bruised noggins on the already low bar held up by Phil Schoen and Lindsey Dean.
Update: Apparently, the cheerleader in question is Pablo Alsina, as mentioned here by FBF favorites Hudsonia, who describe him as "fiery". Not the word I would have gone with--perhaps the Hudson-esque "permanently and dangerously aroused for GolTV" would suit better--but as he's identified as a friend of their blog, perhaps he's just trying to emulate the sparkling form of Ray. An admirable goal, though his efforts thus far are ear-bleedingly annoying at best.