Tickle v. Tackle - 1789 and Alexi's Vomit-inducing Cake

MLS

Tickle - Oh, the misery! Oh, the hilarity! Woebegone TFC come stumbling to Los Angeles, half-lame, their red rags hanging off win-malnourished frames. And the not-so-Galactico defense spreads its molasses legs wide and begs for more. I can't wait for the heads to start rolling through the smog! It's 1789 and Le Squade de Riot are getting sick of Alexi's crappy cake . . . Parity is a strange, wonderful beast sometimes, isn't she? Columbus KO's the Goats in a seven-goal thriller. Clavijo's Clowns achieve a result despite their manager's best efforts. And then off course . . .

Tackle - . . . there was United's failure to follow the bouncing balls on the astro-crud in Salt Lake. United doesn't even get their own TvT category this week because it's nothing but Tackles, all the way down . . .


Over There

Tickle - Fulhamerica make their unlikely bid to rise from the dead with a 2-0 pasting of hapless Reading. McBride was the big danger man--even managing a wicked left-footed volley that countryman Hahnemann parried of the bar, and the Fulhamites will be ruing what might have been if McHead's kneecap hadn't gone walkabout in the fall. I think they'll probably catch Bolton, but dragging down Birmingham or Reading is a tougher ask . . . What a difference a bit of confidence can make! Bayern Munich struggled midweek with Getafe in the UEFA Cup, barely managing to equalize in stoppage time despite playing much of the match a man up. The FC Dallas wannabes then watched in disbelief as the Spaniards conveniently shot themselves in the head, surrendering a two-goal lead in extra time to allow Bayern into the semifinal round. Fast forward to this weekend, where the Munchen Men were in full flow, scoring off some tremendous team moves en route to demolishing Dortmund . . .

Tackle - Good God, but most of Spain was shooting themselves, throwing themselves out of windows, or laying down on the train tracks this week it seems. Something in the water, perhaps? Villareal and Barca bowed out of the La Liga race with nary a whimper, handing the crown to a Real Madrid side who haven't exactly been demanding the throne lately . . . Arsenal come out, guns a-blazin' in the Big Match away to Manchester United, but unfortunately, Adebayor can only seem to score with his hand, and far too many of the Arsenal chances fell to his feet. All in all, a miserable week for Les Gunners, as they crash out of the Champions' League as well, after a similarly dominating, pretty, but ultimately not-quite-ruthless performance. Now where's that massive international conspiracy of referees hiding? Arsene said they were skulking about in the shadows somewhere . . .