MLS Table Talk - Now With Accordion Action Grip!

The MLS table is a bit like an accordion, isn't it? Stretch it out, compress it, and along the way you get some music--sometimes annoying, sometimes entertaining, and the dancing monkeys really sell the deal . . . um, yeah, stretched metaphor, eh? Regardless, take a look at that congestion. New England has opened a four-point gap, but there are only two points separating the next five sides, and seven points separating every team in the league outside of the Revs on top and the Quakes on the bottom. Wow!

By the way, if you happen to be wondering why Houston sit in 4th, atop TFC and Gals, despite all three being level on points . . . Apparently, three-way lockups go to a head-to-head mini-table for the teams involved. That table reads, Houston 4, TFC 3, LA 1--thus the arrangement on the combined table. Of course, somebody needs to let MLS know that this happens to be part of their published rules as they have the Gals placed above the Dynamo at the moment--presumably on goal difference. Or perhaps this is just the prelude to the latest "Beckham Rule"--if the Galaxy are level on points with any team, they are automatically sorted to the top by the almighty power of Becks.

So, how about the points-per-game table? That's still a bit of a layer cake, though the tiers have shifted. The Revs and Chicago are in the lead, with the Crew finding a middle ground between the leaders and a pack consisting of TFC, LA, and the Bulls. Just behind that trio are Houston and the Rapids, with Chivas and KC holding a slight edge over RSL, DC, and Dallas. And bringing up the rear, but finally averaging over a point per game, are the Quakes 2.0.

Offensively, it's the same old song--LA's three against Colorado this week boosts them up to 2.27 goals per game, with only Chicago's 2.0 per game being anywhere close. No real surprises there, but what about in the goal-shy sweepstakes? Well, the Quakes continue to wallow below the 1.0 Maginot Line at 0.9, but KC are hovering right on it, and, somewhat surprisingly given their vaunted forward line, the Red Bulls are only putting in 1.10 per game. Osorio Bunker-Ball in action?

On the other end of the pitch, Chicago getting hit for two by United raises their goals allowed per game to 0.8, but they're still the only side below 1.0, with the Revs (1.17) and Osorio's Bunker-Bulls (1.20) getting honorable mention. Defensively, DC have finally managed to drop below the 2.0 barrier at 1.92, with the run-and-gun Gals nearly a match at 1.91.

So there you have it, FBF readers--the MLS table, now with Accordion Action Grip!