Tickle v. Tackle - Here Comes the Bordello Derby!

MLS

Tickle
Exactly how many goals will the United-Galaxy match produce? The two most promiscuous teams in MLS meet at RFK this weekend in what will hereafter be known as the Bordello Derby. Prolific offenses against defenses often caught with their shorts around their shinguards--what could possibly go wrong? Or . . . oh so freakin' right depending upon how high you scored on the last "Am I A Real American Sports Fan?" Scantron-fest . . .

Tackle
So, some mysterious, unnamed Euro club is sniffing around FCD's Kenny Cooper. Not much of a surprise given how well he's been playing of late. Sure makes you wonder how he doesn't get a look in with the Nats considering the current striking conundrum facing Señor Bradley . . .

CONCACAF

Tickle
Huzzah! The US jumps over the first hurdle in World Cup qualifying. Miles over in fact. Now we're on to the real competition, though the initial stage did claim a pretty significant victim in the form of a Panama side that's been on such an impressive rise over the last five years or so. Is the shallow end of the CONCACAF kiddie pool now stocked with some small but deadly sharks? . . .

Tackle
Let's all hold a moment's silence for poor Barbados. Did they really need an 8-0 (9-0 on aggregate) humiliation at the hands of the US of A? Who exactly does that sort of mauling benefit? . . . Speaking of maulings--Sweet Jesus, who did the Canadian Soccer Association kill? Let's have a look at the semifinal groups in World Cup qualifying, remembering that only the top two from each group qualify for the Hexogonal . . . The US has a relatively easy go of it in the first group, and Guatemala should probably qualify as well, unless Raul Castro can stop the Cubans from hemorrhaging young talent to defection, and/or T&T somehow pull out of the tailspin that crooked Jack Warner has put them in . . . The third group is a joke. Costa Rica should probably get through, even if they don't look quite as strong as they have in the past. But who goes through with them? El Salvador aren't exactly loaded. Haiti has some talent, but do they have the discipline? And Suriname? Suriname? Really? . . . Which brings us to the (duht-duht-duht-DUNNNNN!) Group of Death! I don't see Mexico failing to advance, but the second spot is really up for grabs. I'd probably favor Honduras, who look to have overtaken Costa Rica as the #3 team in the region behind the US and Mexico. But Canada have also been much improved as of late, and the Jamaicans are a complete wild card that has the potential to either suck mightily or turn in a fantastic one-off . . . So the question remains--who did the CSA kill? Stick them in either of the other groups and I think you'd expect them to be Hexogonal-bound. In a group with Mexico and Honduras and the Jamaicans not being the sort of walkovers that you'd expect Suriname to be, I don't hold out much hope for them . . .