These Aren't The Heads You're Looking For

In my reaction post to the 3-0 debacle against RSL, I wondered how long it would take for the headsman to show. Turns out, not so long. Sadly, he claimed the wrong head, or at least not enough heads.

Look, I'm about as enamored of Onalfo as slugs are salt, but this is one dirty Jedi mind trick by the FO. Toss out Onalfo as a scapegoat, question his ability to motivate players, install as boss the one man who every United fan loves, and wash your hands of the whole affair.

"These aren't the heads you're looking for" + hand-waving + empty words about fire and devotion to the shirt = headsman walking away without the two noggins that should be rattling around in his basket. You feeling particularly weak minded today?

Was Onalfo the wrong coach? Probably. Did he put together this abominable team? Nope.

Get the fingers ready, evil monkeys, we know who to blame.

Good luck, Benny. You're going to need it.


  1. PR move failure. While we'll all be pulling for Olsen, this doesn't seem to actually do anything for the team. How does a guy with a few months of assistant coaching on a very very bad team bring anything to the table other than heart? In most games, heart seems to be ok. The problem is that the team is relying on guys that are not good enough to fulfill the linchpin positions.

  2. You're almost absolutely right. Sadly, the places where you're wrong are named Morsink and Cristman, the clues that the player personnel issue wasn't entirely the front office's fault. That compounds Onalfo's utter mediocrity as a professional soccer coach.

    Also: I have heard that Payne owns a piece of the team, and would be very difficult to Heimlich out of the FO.

    I think there are some useful horses there. Maybe Benny can pull out a USOC, figure out who needs to be carnage, and hand the team over to someone who hasn't been so thoroughly steeped in the DCU system that they feel compelled to return ceaselessly to the (glorious) past.

  3. I don't know that winning the US Open Cup helps the team. I think it might paper over the glaring problems like it did in 2008. And really, KP and DK are quite happy to look at wall paper covering the 40 foot gap in their wall and say "everything is quite sturdy around here. Don't mind the wind."

    Of course, I want to win more silverware but realistically, winning anything (including a game) this season seems unlikely.

  4. I don't know that winning the USOC helps the team either. It will, however, make ME feel better.

    No argument about wallpaper. Realism? I dunno. Stranger things have happened. They're in the semis and they've got a home game against a Columbus team that likely cares more about its MLS standing than about the Cup.

    Or maybe I'm just deranged with joy over the sacking of a coach who shouldn't have been hired. If that makes me a bad person, I can live with it.

  5. I agree with Payne and Kasper deserving the fall, and I don't think their choice of Benny was at all genuine. However, he's got to be better, right? Better than. "Well, quiet honestly, I don't know what's going wrong. We try to work on stuff, and we will continue to work on (insert low point of particular match.) Injuries haven't helped." Just glad I don't have to hear another timid hack (Soehn, Onalfo) look like they are caged rodents. Benny does well when backed into a corner.