Raving Obamaphile: Look at how inclusive our Fearless Leader is. Magnificent! The sheer Audacity! The Hope he brings! Surely we can't go wrong with someone who is open-minded enough to appreciate the world's most popular game? Surely he will rebuild the bridges burned by the current administration?
Joe USA Sportsfan: But just look at all those American basketballs siting on the rack--ignored, unloved! So lonely. Goddamn Euro-hippy-pinko-queer!
Me: Appreciates the game my ass--he likes West Freakin' Ham! Technique's not half bad though . . .
Raving Obamaphile: (zombie-like chanting) Change . . . hope . . . change . . . hope . . . change
Joe USA Sportsfan: (suspiciously) Wait a minute! I think I've seen something like this before. My Euro-commie Gaydar is going freakin' nuts!
Me: (helpfully) Uh, you mean this guy?
Raving Obamaphile: Change . . . (pause) . . . #%(*#@!
Joe USA Sportsfan: Yeah, that's the one! Wait a minute--isn't that the same goddamn ball?
Me: Conspiracy!
Hillary: HEY DON'T BE SEXIST, WOMEN'S FOOTBALL IS JUST AS HARDCORE AS MEN'S, AND IT JUST SPEAKS TO THE POWER OF AMERICAN WOMEN THAT WE HAVE DOMINATED THE SPORT SINCE IT WAS INTRODUCED TO OUR GENDER!!!...
ReplyDelete(Knowledgeably, Catherine-Lucia steps in and whispers in Hillary's ear that Brazil and Germany were the ones in the Women's World Cup final last year.)
Hillary: So that's what they meant when they said I like to relive the 90s...
Hey I'm just proud that Obama even knows who West Ham is. Bush would think that's some sort of animal raised on a farm.
ReplyDeleteHonestly? I thank the heavens that I can't vote yet, with the choices we have.
ReplyDeleteOh come on...I had my best attempt at humor up there, won't anyone congratulate me? It was vaguely funny, considering my circumstances...
ReplyDelete