Sean's DCU|FM Challenge, Part I

If you've been following my adventures in charge of DC United in FM2010, you've seen that I issued a challenge to follow in my virtual footsteps. Well, to date, only one of you has stepped up to that plate. Allow me to present Part I of Sean Spence's DCU|FM Challenge series...


I've always had a soft spot for DC. MLS launched without a team anywhere near where I grew up, so I watched the dominant team most avidly. Young Jaime Moreno was something to behold - now I'm going to have to decide whether to keep Old Jaime Moreno. This could be interesting. Thing is, this is Fullback's show, and he's putting one on there in his main thread, y'know? FB has DC ready to lift trophies, or something similarly hiphopish. So I went another direction.

I began by letting Mark Simpson go, as y'do. The guy just doesn't have the chops - I like to have an AM with good man management, so I can trust his insight into the engine, if y'see what I'm sayin'. In comes Martin Vasquez, not yet hired by Chivas, haha frickin' ha. He's a fantastic AM for MLS - good stats in motivation, man management, and lots of coaching categories. He'll organize and stabilize the staff, no matter what whack-ass bullshit I decide is necessary during the season. There's a couple of other guys, but damn, this thing could get long, couldn't it? Suffice to say I tried to lace together a staff.

And yet, and yet ... see, it's confession time. I undertook this challenge during the holidays, full of (one could say) high spirits. Very, very full of spirits, indeed. And the fact is, there's some transfer deals in the hopper I don't remember initiating. So, in game terms, I'm viewing it this way: Someone (possibly Mark Simpson, since I've already axed him) made some promises in DC United letterhead. And, since DC United is the Bestest, Most Successful Team in the history of MLS, they (we) honor () their (our) word. And what could be more like coaching in MLS than having an unaccountable front office hand you a dysfunctional roster?

Anyway. My New Year's self (freed entirely of inhibition, and now identified in the game world as Mark Simpson) started strong, sending Emilio packing to Salt Lake straight-up for Fabian Espindola, who makes about $600 a week, saving us about 14 grand each week. I picked up Lawson Vaughn off waivers, then packaged Simms and Namoff to KC for Claudio Lopez ... err, yeeeeah. I was feeling swashbuckling. Did I say I was? I meant Mark Simpson. That guy's crazy. I had to fire him!

Somehow, Gomez remained on the roster; ahhhh, Gomez. I remember those happy days, three weeks ago, when I could look at his numbers (16 creativity, passing) and imagine something other than a man who wilts under challenges that wouldn't bother stout U12 girls. Christian may owe his continuing employment to the fact that 'Mark Simpson' grew discouraged by overpaying for El Piojo.


Sean Spence blogs at footballfanalytical.


  1. WOW! Trade away Simms AND Namoff?!? For Lopez?!?!

    What's next, give Olsen a wedgie? Send compromising pictures of Moreno to his wife?

    How about marching up and down the sidelines giving Barra and Eagles the finger all match?

    I can't imagine anyone actually getting THAT drunk.

  2. In re: drunkeness - It's clear, sir, that we've never met.

    And, to be fair, I had a dogpile at D-mid; Simms played like trash in the preseason, and Lawson Vaughn had moved Namoff to the 'where are they now?' file.

    Annnd, yeah, I was hammered. It felt swashbuckling at the time, if that counts for anything.

  3. Shrewd move for Espindola, I'd say.

    But imagine if Onalfo pulled the same Simms/Namoff trade in real life. "I'm telling you guys, you didn't see their preseason like I did. They were AWFUL. I had no choice but to let them go. You would have done the same thing. You gotta believe me."

    The only thing that I could think of that would give justification to this kind of sending-away is if both players simultaneously developed an alcohol dependency the night before reporting for preseason. Now that I mention it, I think I read somewhere that Simms is teetotal. But I can't be sure.


  4. Hey, I'm not saying these are great moves. Quite the opposite.

    Just wait. I hosed myself even further with later follies. I mean, I'm _good_ at this game, and I'm still struggling to save this season for DC.

  5. Don't look now, but I'm considering a trade involving Namoff as I roll toward the second season in my own Challenge.

    Do I feel a little guilty? Sure. But I've brought in a couple of young wingbacks, so he's going to be a rotation player at best, he still carries trade value in MLS, and he's starting to slow as he hits the far side of 30.

    Even the virtual variety of football management is a cold, cold world.

    On a positive note, the fans have finally forgiven me for trading away Gomez, though they're liable to be back on my case if Namoff gets dealt. (sigh)