We're back!
Week 1 is in the books and the MLS Dogpile makes its long-awaited return. Depending upon reader interest (see comments . . . have comments . . . post comments . . . you know the drill), MLS Table Talk will also be returning, but probably not until Weeks 5-7, by which time some sort of reasonable analysis of the numbers on offer should be possible. Without further ado . . .
Alpha Dog
1. New England Revolution (----W)
Can there really be any doubt who gets to sit atop the pile after Week 1? The Revs met the Dynamo in a rematch of the last two MLS Cup finals--a match between two of the strongest sides in the league over the last few years. And the Revs sauntered to a 3-0 result without their tight-shirted talisman Twellman. That, ladies and gentlemen, puts you at the top of the pile. Nyassi looks a very promising player, and once again, Nicol appears to have slotted in the pieces around a solid core, thus fashioning a contender. Next up, the Revs hit the road to face Blanco and the Fire on Thursday Night Futbol.
The Playoff Pack
2. Chivas USA (----D)
A slow start for the Goats in the first half at Dallas, but they came back strong in the second (at least if box scores, and match recaps are to be believed). Though they were missing a few key cogs in the machinery, the same can be said of Dallas. Next week, Preki's boys will head home to the friendly confines of the Toolbox, which they turned into a fortress last year--a very quiet and sparsely populated fortress, but a fortress nonetheless. Will the new-look RSL spoil their home opener?
3. Kansas City Wizards (----W)
A big win to open the new ballpark, but hardly a dominating performance. The Wizards should get goals this year, but they also looked surprisingly tight at the back. How much of this is due to their quality and how much to DC's inability to put pressure on the fullbacks is subject to debate. Regardless, the new strike pairing both netted on their debut, and they beat the back-to-back Supporters' Shield winners. A promising start, but I still think that defense will prove shaky against sides that look to exploit the flanks, namely next weekend's visitor--the Rapids.
4. DC United (----L)
A loss is a loss, true. But it wasn't like United was dominated in their 2-0 loss to KC. The new-look defense held the Wiz to three shots on goal. The fact that KC's deadly duo stuck two of those in the net speaks more to their quality than to DC's lack thereof. Add in DC probably looking ahead to Pachuca in midweek and trotting out Mediate in place of Fred, and you've got all the ingredients for disappointment. There was definitely rust on the offensive machinery, but there were moments of promise. Here's hoping for more than promise (read as: goals) next weekend at home against TFC.
5. Houston Dynamo (----L)
Ouch. Looking ahead to a mid-week CONCACRAP date, perhaps? Lack of pace in the back line highlighted, underscored, and circled in red marker? Lack of quality forward play penalizing a tremendous midfield? Hard to say, but going by the highlights (featuring one headed chance for the Dynamo) and box score (3 shots on goal versus 13 for the Revs), the Dynamo were flat and exposed. Hardly the best way to start your season, but they didn't start particularly well last year either (see also, DC United, 2007 edition). Next weekend at home in the Lone Star Derby against Dallas should see an improved performance.
6. Chicago Fire (----D)
Blanco rescues the Fire late with a moment of magic. Why do I have a feeling that I'm going to be saying that a lot this season? It was also refreshing to see the Hunchback back to his argumentative best, provoking opposition players and fans alike. I have a feeling that those red cards he managed to avoid last year are going to be finding their way out of referees' pockets this year. And that's going to hurt the Fire badly when he's suspended. Another tough test awaits, as Alpha Dogs, the Revolution, come calling on Thursday night.
7. FC Dallas (----D)
Sample headlines for the Dallas papers . . . Davino's debut devastated by dumb decision. Who doesn't put the "D" in "defense"? Duilio Davino, that's the dude. Ah well, at least Morrow's men managed a draw. Not having the evidence before my own eyes, it looks like the Hoops were at least fairly dangerous, despite missing some regular first-teamers. Next week will be tough--on the road to Lone Star rivals Houston, who are coming off a Week 1 drubbing and will looking to impress.
8. Colorado Rapids (----W)
Are they that good, or is LA just that bad? I tend to side with the second option. The Rapids managed four goals, but they only had five shots on frame and a PK. On the other hand, they nullified what was supposed to be one of the more dangerous attacking sides in the league. Clavijo's clowns have haunted this territory before--threatening to look competent, but then fading away to obscurity as the season progresses. I need to see more, and next weekend away to the Wizards might give us a better idea what the Rapids are about this year. Holy Crap! I just realized that the Rapids were the only team in the West to win this weekend, which means that they're atop the Western Conference. What're the odds on them staying there longer than a week?
Bum-sniffing Omega Mutts
9. New York Red Bulls (-----)
A week off can only help the Red Bulls as they wait for the long-promised reinforcements to arrive and bolster their thin lineup. All indications have been that pre-season was not encouraging, but Osorio proved last year that he can win in MLS. Saturday will see their debut as Sigi's Crew come calling in the Jersey swamplands.
10. Real Salt Lake (----D)
I want to rate them higher, but until the results come, it's still the same old RSL. How Kreis' men didn't manage to win their home opener is beyond me. Forget Blanco's stoppage time equalizer for a second. RSL should have been done and dusted by that point. They limited the Fire to two shots on goal--a massive defensive improvement, and managed to put shots on frame nine times themselves. Even starting without some of their recent acquisitions on the pitch, RSL were looking extremely dangerous early, with Espindola exposing the Fire back line time and again. Despite the late setback, all signs point to an improved RSL, at least at home. How they'll travel should be on display next weekend as they visit the Goats.
11. Columbus Crew (----W)
Sigi's boys benefit from a lack of sharpness from the TFC striker corps. Both sides had 13 shots, but while the Crew managed to put a healthy seven on target, TFC (and primarily Jeff Cunningham) managed only three. The Crew had a few nice passing moments, but didn't look tremendously dangerous, nor particularly solid at the back. A sterner test against more competent opposition will tell us what the Crew are bringing to the party this year. Unfortunately, that test may not happen next week, as they hit the road to face the Red Bulls. And yes--that stage looks absolutely atrocious.
12. Toronto FC (----L)
A missed PK. Cunningham wayward in front of net. The impressive traveling support go home disappointed. TFC were in this game and probably deserved better--if not a win or a draw, than at least a goal for their efforts. But the strikers were not sharp, and the old onion bag would not bulge. As a United fan, I'll hope that trend continues next weekend at RFK.
13. Los Angeles Galaxy (----L)
Could Lalas' Abomination be even worse than we all imagined? Cronin is going to be in for a season reminiscent of Guzan's during Chivas' inaugural season. Will he rise to the challenge? Where was the vaunted trinity of Donovan, Beckham, and Ruiz? Too much international travel in the midweek? Perhaps. 3 shots in total? Is that what sexy football is all about? Oh dear, oh dear. It looks like another disappointing year in La-La Land. If they can't take care of expansion San Jose at home on Thursday, I expect the sparks (and heads) to start flying.
14. San Jose Earthquakes (-----)
It's really gotta suck to sit and watch opening weekend, particularly when you've been out of the league for a few years. But what a way to return to action! Thursday Night Futbol visiting the old bane--the Los Angeles Galaxy, who looked pretty vulnerable to a Colorado side with many of the same issues up top that the Earthquakes themselves would seem to have. Yallop has got to be relishing a chance to hurt the Galaxy, and by extension, Lalas, deeply.
DC United Reaction - The Foul Stench of Inevitability
You could almost smell it wafting in over the crazy angles of the ballpark bleachers, down across the grassed-over infield, caught momentarily in an updraft of hot air from Sean Wheelock, and finally down off Tommy Soehn's brooding glare. The Foul Stench of Inevitability.
The first half was promising, with the defense shutting down KC and the offense not exactly sparkling, but creating a few decent chances. Yet as soon as the Wiz bagged their first early in the second half, it only seemed like a matter of time before they got the second. United started pushing forward, and the gaps duly started appearing. Even when Peralta slammed United's apparent equalizer home, I was unfazed, waiting for the inexorable raising of the linesman's flag. Result? KC 2, DC 0.
So, what went wrong?
* No wide threat. On a couple of occasions in the first half, Mediate and McTavish raced through, only to be either (a) mugged with nary a PK call in sight or (b) flagged offside (though the same linesman did return the favor in the second half--fair play to you, Mr. Ray Charles). But this danger was never consistent. Instead, we tried to force too much through the middle--the standard DC calling card--with predictable results. One has to wonder if this would have been the case had Fred started. That said, I think resting folks for Pachuca is probably a wise move. It's early in the season, and the team still has time to gel and start getting results in the league.
* KC came out of the half with a fire in their bellies that DC couldn't match. Instead, DC looked a bit flat and listless, and paid for it almost immediately. A few minutes after KC's first went in, DC started to push up, and getting hit on the counter began to look more and more likely. Still, United had their chances. And, it has to be said, they did create the better chances in the first half as well. If Emilio is in form or Salazar makes a call or the linesman keeps his damn flag down, maybe the story would have played out differently. Such are the vagaries of fate and MLS officials.
* KC's got a good little team to run about their crappy little pitch. Not sure how deep they are, or how they'll handle teams that actually decide to pressure their fullbacks, but they looked pretty dangerous once things started opening up a bit in the second, and they possessed the ball fairly well, which reminds me . . .
* Whether it's down to not being all on the same page yet, the wind, or the negative nexus of dying brain cells created by Wheelock's disturbingly ridiculous commentary, DC wasn't stringing the passes together like we're used to seeing. Too much hit and hope and too many mishit (or misread) through-balls. Again, I'm not too terribly worried yet. We all knew that Harbour View wasn't MLS quality, and that it would take time for all of the new pieces to settle into place. Once we start connecting the dots a little better, I'm confident that we'll create more chances (and hopefully start finishing them as well). As it was, we had a fair few. There was just a final ball or a solid finish missing from the puzzle.
In other words, take heed the Hitchhiker's Guide, and . . . DON'T PANIC! At least, not yet anyway.
Addendum
On a final note, I had to watch this one on MLSlive.tv, which is an absolute steal at $19.95 for the season, even if the quality is poor and the ABC/ESPN/FSC games are missing. But watching on MLSlive.tv got me stuck with Sean Wheelock. Wow! Sure made me appreciate Dave Johnson all the more. What game was he watching? Every time he noted a "clever play" or "great pass" it ended up being a turnover. And my goodness, every time Emilio touched the ball, it was like the Grim Reaper had showed up for dinner. "Look out! He's got the ball! Hide the women and children!" I know he's a dangerous striker, but sheesh! And please don't get me started on Erin Whats-her-name doing the sideline bits. Give me an A, give me an M, give me an A . . . T . . . E . . . U . . . R. What's that spell? Ouch.
Onward to Mexico!
The first half was promising, with the defense shutting down KC and the offense not exactly sparkling, but creating a few decent chances. Yet as soon as the Wiz bagged their first early in the second half, it only seemed like a matter of time before they got the second. United started pushing forward, and the gaps duly started appearing. Even when Peralta slammed United's apparent equalizer home, I was unfazed, waiting for the inexorable raising of the linesman's flag. Result? KC 2, DC 0.
So, what went wrong?
* No wide threat. On a couple of occasions in the first half, Mediate and McTavish raced through, only to be either (a) mugged with nary a PK call in sight or (b) flagged offside (though the same linesman did return the favor in the second half--fair play to you, Mr. Ray Charles). But this danger was never consistent. Instead, we tried to force too much through the middle--the standard DC calling card--with predictable results. One has to wonder if this would have been the case had Fred started. That said, I think resting folks for Pachuca is probably a wise move. It's early in the season, and the team still has time to gel and start getting results in the league.
* KC came out of the half with a fire in their bellies that DC couldn't match. Instead, DC looked a bit flat and listless, and paid for it almost immediately. A few minutes after KC's first went in, DC started to push up, and getting hit on the counter began to look more and more likely. Still, United had their chances. And, it has to be said, they did create the better chances in the first half as well. If Emilio is in form or Salazar makes a call or the linesman keeps his damn flag down, maybe the story would have played out differently. Such are the vagaries of fate and MLS officials.
* KC's got a good little team to run about their crappy little pitch. Not sure how deep they are, or how they'll handle teams that actually decide to pressure their fullbacks, but they looked pretty dangerous once things started opening up a bit in the second, and they possessed the ball fairly well, which reminds me . . .
* Whether it's down to not being all on the same page yet, the wind, or the negative nexus of dying brain cells created by Wheelock's disturbingly ridiculous commentary, DC wasn't stringing the passes together like we're used to seeing. Too much hit and hope and too many mishit (or misread) through-balls. Again, I'm not too terribly worried yet. We all knew that Harbour View wasn't MLS quality, and that it would take time for all of the new pieces to settle into place. Once we start connecting the dots a little better, I'm confident that we'll create more chances (and hopefully start finishing them as well). As it was, we had a fair few. There was just a final ball or a solid finish missing from the puzzle.
In other words, take heed the Hitchhiker's Guide, and . . . DON'T PANIC! At least, not yet anyway.
Addendum
On a final note, I had to watch this one on MLSlive.tv, which is an absolute steal at $19.95 for the season, even if the quality is poor and the ABC/ESPN/FSC games are missing. But watching on MLSlive.tv got me stuck with Sean Wheelock. Wow! Sure made me appreciate Dave Johnson all the more. What game was he watching? Every time he noted a "clever play" or "great pass" it ended up being a turnover. And my goodness, every time Emilio touched the ball, it was like the Grim Reaper had showed up for dinner. "Look out! He's got the ball! Hide the women and children!" I know he's a dangerous striker, but sheesh! And please don't get me started on Erin Whats-her-name doing the sideline bits. Give me an A, give me an M, give me an A . . . T . . . E . . . U . . . R. What's that spell? Ouch.
Onward to Mexico!
Nostra-dumbass Rides Again . . . The Unified MLS Table
So, here we are at last. I've stuck my neck out on the East and West, and now I'll make an absolute fool of myself by taking the completely unnecessary step of piling everything together in a single table and calling the playoffs (assuming I've understood the playoff format correctly--that's what all the E2 and W3 jazz is about, in case you were wondering).
1. DC United (E1)
2. Chivas USA (W1)
3. Houston Dynamo (W2)
4. New England Revolution (E2)
5. Chicago Fire (E3)
6. Kansas City Wizards (WC-E)
7. FC Dallas (W3)
8. Real Salt Lake (WC-W)
-------------------------------------
9. New York Red Bulls
10. LA Galaxy
11. Columbus Crew
12. Colorado Rapids
13. Toronto FC
14. San Jose Earthquakes
Everything is, of course, subject to change based on signings and injuries and such, but the way I see it now . . . The big dogs are DC, Chivas, and Houston, with the Revs sniffing around their heels. All four are locks for the playoffs unless they have massive injury bugs or completely fall apart. The Fire, KC, and Dallas all have the potential to either be up there with the front runners or to completely self-destruct and end up outside the playoffs, but I tend to think of them all as competent teams with enough horses to get the job done.
Next up come RSL, the Red Bulls, and Lalas' Abomination. Much like the Fire and Dallas, I think that the Red Bulls and LA could also be teams that have everything come together and push on into the playoffs. But a more likely scenario (barring MLS HQ's incessant meddling) is that they miss out after a battle royale amongst themselves and RSL for that #8 spot when their defenses crumble. Columbus and the Rapids will both have decent runs during the season and will promise much at times, but as has happened so often before, they'll fall short at the final hurdle. And down in the cellar, TFC will keep the organized but impotent Quakes company.
In the playoffs, DC will win an epic pair of matches against KC and advance to meet their nemesis, the Fire, who will win the first leg against a flagging Revs side easily, and hang on in a second leg marred by three red cards. Out west, Chivas will struggle to break down RSL, but Eskandarian will pop up in extra time in the second leg to haunt his former side. The Goats will move on to face Houston, which will dispose of their cross-state rivals as they start to get that playoff juggernaut look about them again.
In the conference finals, DC will finally get past a suspension-hampered Fire, while Houston will dominate against the Goats. But a combination of El Guzano and poor finishing will cost the Dynamo, as Chivas advance after PK's. The MLS Cup final will almost be a duplicate of the Western Conference final, as Guzan once again stands on his head (assuming he's not in Europe yet--gulp!) and keeps United out until prodigal son Santino Quaranta sets up the Godfather of Goals, Jaime Moreno for the winner late in the second half. DC celebrate the double as Jaime gets to hold the Cup aloft just days prior to announcing his triumphant retirement from the game.
Wishful thinking? Probably. But it sure would be a nice story, wouldn't it? Don't forget to come back and laugh at me round about October or November when DC are slogging away in mid-table, the Galaxy are destroying the league with their "sexy football", and the Guzan-less Goats are heading for the golf course a month too early. But before you start laughing, make your own predictions (in the comments or on your own blogs) so that we can compare, contrast, and commiserate in eight months.
Nostra-dumbass--signing out!
1. DC United (E1)
2. Chivas USA (W1)
3. Houston Dynamo (W2)
4. New England Revolution (E2)
5. Chicago Fire (E3)
6. Kansas City Wizards (WC-E)
7. FC Dallas (W3)
8. Real Salt Lake (WC-W)
-------------------------------------
9. New York Red Bulls
10. LA Galaxy
11. Columbus Crew
12. Colorado Rapids
13. Toronto FC
14. San Jose Earthquakes
Everything is, of course, subject to change based on signings and injuries and such, but the way I see it now . . . The big dogs are DC, Chivas, and Houston, with the Revs sniffing around their heels. All four are locks for the playoffs unless they have massive injury bugs or completely fall apart. The Fire, KC, and Dallas all have the potential to either be up there with the front runners or to completely self-destruct and end up outside the playoffs, but I tend to think of them all as competent teams with enough horses to get the job done.
Next up come RSL, the Red Bulls, and Lalas' Abomination. Much like the Fire and Dallas, I think that the Red Bulls and LA could also be teams that have everything come together and push on into the playoffs. But a more likely scenario (barring MLS HQ's incessant meddling) is that they miss out after a battle royale amongst themselves and RSL for that #8 spot when their defenses crumble. Columbus and the Rapids will both have decent runs during the season and will promise much at times, but as has happened so often before, they'll fall short at the final hurdle. And down in the cellar, TFC will keep the organized but impotent Quakes company.
In the playoffs, DC will win an epic pair of matches against KC and advance to meet their nemesis, the Fire, who will win the first leg against a flagging Revs side easily, and hang on in a second leg marred by three red cards. Out west, Chivas will struggle to break down RSL, but Eskandarian will pop up in extra time in the second leg to haunt his former side. The Goats will move on to face Houston, which will dispose of their cross-state rivals as they start to get that playoff juggernaut look about them again.
In the conference finals, DC will finally get past a suspension-hampered Fire, while Houston will dominate against the Goats. But a combination of El Guzano and poor finishing will cost the Dynamo, as Chivas advance after PK's. The MLS Cup final will almost be a duplicate of the Western Conference final, as Guzan once again stands on his head (assuming he's not in Europe yet--gulp!) and keeps United out until prodigal son Santino Quaranta sets up the Godfather of Goals, Jaime Moreno for the winner late in the second half. DC celebrate the double as Jaime gets to hold the Cup aloft just days prior to announcing his triumphant retirement from the game.
Wishful thinking? Probably. But it sure would be a nice story, wouldn't it? Don't forget to come back and laugh at me round about October or November when DC are slogging away in mid-table, the Galaxy are destroying the league with their "sexy football", and the Guzan-less Goats are heading for the golf course a month too early. But before you start laughing, make your own predictions (in the comments or on your own blogs) so that we can compare, contrast, and commiserate in eight months.
Nostra-dumbass--signing out!
TvT Special Edition - This Just In . . . ESPN Hates Soccer!
Tickle v. Tackle will not be seen this week, owing to scheduling difficulties and the ferocious tolls imposed upon us (me) by all of the tea-reading, rune-casting, and terrifying bouts of opium-induced prognosticological trance states required to predict the future of MLS 2008. But in the interim, we bring you this special edition of the Tickle v. Tackle . . .
Mega Tackle of the Week!
Okay, you folks in your trademarked and copyrighted mouse ears, huddled around your giant satellite dishes in the Connecticut wilds, listen up! You've got Argentina versus the USA on June 8th. Argentina! One of the best, if not the best, assemblages of soccer talent on the freakin' planet is coming to the Big Apple (or a swamp in the relative vicinity) to face your US National Team. And what is your response?
ESPN Classic.
Now, I don't often resort to coarse language here on my lonely little blog, but I'd like to quote a passage that a hero of mine immortalized in print (and props to the first commentator to identify said hero).
Hey Disney goons! "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!"
Mega Tackle of the Week!
Okay, you folks in your trademarked and copyrighted mouse ears, huddled around your giant satellite dishes in the Connecticut wilds, listen up! You've got Argentina versus the USA on June 8th. Argentina! One of the best, if not the best, assemblages of soccer talent on the freakin' planet is coming to the Big Apple (or a swamp in the relative vicinity) to face your US National Team. And what is your response?
ESPN Classic.
Now, I don't often resort to coarse language here on my lonely little blog, but I'd like to quote a passage that a hero of mine immortalized in print (and props to the first commentator to identify said hero).
Hey Disney goons! "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!"
USA Reaction - Are You Bolton in Diguise?
Three set piece goals on a bobbly pitch and you could be forgiven for mistaking the men in gray for the men in white. The Lewis strike was a beauty, and I'll give Donovan credit for his service on the other two, but what was up with the Polish set piece defending? They looked like they scanned the tape of Drew Moor's hapless dead ball work for the US against Mexico and took it upon themselves to emulate the young FC Dallas defender.
It's been over 24 hours, and it wasn't a pretty match, so I'll just do some quick impressions . . .
* Cherundolo can bomb forward and get the crosses in. I'd like to see a lot more of Dempsey/Donovan pushing more central from a right midfield position, not only to clear space for 'Dolo, but because they're both much more effective on the inside. Pearce had one or two nice moments as well, and turned in a solid shift defensively. Was that enough?
* In fact, the whole defense looked pretty solid. There were a few wobbles, but the Polish chances were few and of low quality. Not bad against a team with their fair share of dangerous attackers. But as for the boys up top . . .
* I don't want to see Eddie Johnson in a national team shirt again until (1) he takes those lead boots off, (2) he figures out how to finish again, (3) he gives more than about 60-70% effort, and (4) he either passes in one or two touches or gets on his horse and attacks. Indecision is a crap attribute for a striker. Ugh.
* Paging Brian Ching. Chinger? Where were you buddy? I saw an early headed attempt, but after that? Nada. Brian Ching = spent force. Time to move on down the list of probable target forwards. Mr. Altidore? Mr. Cooper? Deuce, you wanna get back up top?
* I like Ricardo Clark in theory, but in practice he's still a bit too raw. Bradley wasn't able to influence the game as much as he might have because he was too busy hanging back and covering for Clark. I still have high hopes for Rico, and he did have some nice moments. What I like is that he's willing to stick his head in, give it a go, and try things. This is why I'm so enamored of Dempsey as well, though his lack of playing time at Fulham seems to have taken some of the luster off his game. I loved what he was bringing against Mexico, but it just wasn't there last night. Playing in midfield or not playing at Fulham? You make the call.
* Eddie Lewis is in a fine run of form. The last couple sets of Derby highlights, particularly his showing against Man U, have been pretty impressive. I'll hold up my hand on this one. The guy still has something left to give this team.
* The two holding-mid system is here to stay. I don't mind that too much, I'd just like to see us put four mobile attackers out there and give them license to interchange positions and get after it, à la Roma, Man U, or half of Spain. Not that we can pull that type of system off against everybody, but against CONCACAF opposition outside of Mexico? The current two up top and two banks of four is compact and solid defensively, but doesn't exactly make for scintillating attacking play.
It's been over 24 hours, and it wasn't a pretty match, so I'll just do some quick impressions . . .
* Cherundolo can bomb forward and get the crosses in. I'd like to see a lot more of Dempsey/Donovan pushing more central from a right midfield position, not only to clear space for 'Dolo, but because they're both much more effective on the inside. Pearce had one or two nice moments as well, and turned in a solid shift defensively. Was that enough?
* In fact, the whole defense looked pretty solid. There were a few wobbles, but the Polish chances were few and of low quality. Not bad against a team with their fair share of dangerous attackers. But as for the boys up top . . .
* I don't want to see Eddie Johnson in a national team shirt again until (1) he takes those lead boots off, (2) he figures out how to finish again, (3) he gives more than about 60-70% effort, and (4) he either passes in one or two touches or gets on his horse and attacks. Indecision is a crap attribute for a striker. Ugh.
* Paging Brian Ching. Chinger? Where were you buddy? I saw an early headed attempt, but after that? Nada. Brian Ching = spent force. Time to move on down the list of probable target forwards. Mr. Altidore? Mr. Cooper? Deuce, you wanna get back up top?
* I like Ricardo Clark in theory, but in practice he's still a bit too raw. Bradley wasn't able to influence the game as much as he might have because he was too busy hanging back and covering for Clark. I still have high hopes for Rico, and he did have some nice moments. What I like is that he's willing to stick his head in, give it a go, and try things. This is why I'm so enamored of Dempsey as well, though his lack of playing time at Fulham seems to have taken some of the luster off his game. I loved what he was bringing against Mexico, but it just wasn't there last night. Playing in midfield or not playing at Fulham? You make the call.
* Eddie Lewis is in a fine run of form. The last couple sets of Derby highlights, particularly his showing against Man U, have been pretty impressive. I'll hold up my hand on this one. The guy still has something left to give this team.
* The two holding-mid system is here to stay. I don't mind that too much, I'd just like to see us put four mobile attackers out there and give them license to interchange positions and get after it, à la Roma, Man U, or half of Spain. Not that we can pull that type of system off against everybody, but against CONCACAF opposition outside of Mexico? The current two up top and two banks of four is compact and solid defensively, but doesn't exactly make for scintillating attacking play.
Nostra-dumbass Describes . . . How the West Will Be Won
Once more into the breech, dear friends. Having run our spyglass over the roiling waters of the East, we now turn our attention to what lurks in the briny depths of the West. To wit . . .
1. Chivas USA
They've got a damn good starting eleven--as evidenced by last year's fantastic league finish, but beyond that things get a touch dicey. Eskandarian and Cunliffe coming off the bench up top isn't bad, but the midfield and defense are borderline anorexic. That wasn't so much of an issue last year with only two competitions on the docket, but a few extra fixtures and some folks missing in the summer for the Olympics and World Cup qualifying might stretch them. Add in the uncertainty surrounding Brad Guzan (will he jump ship in the summer or not?), and Preki's going to have some questions to answer. Then again, nobody expected the kind of results he got last year, so I'm tempted to think that they may have another decent run in them. Much hinges on keeping Guzan in the net.
2. Houston Dynamo
Talented? Absolutely. Proven winners? Check. Depth? Um, well, sure--the midfield is stacked. Offensive threats? Uh, well--there's that midfield again. Houston are unquestionably among the best in MLS, but I'm thinking back to that oh-so average start they had last year, before Ngwenya showed up and started racing about, pulling defenses out of shape and creating space for that ever so talented midfield to operate in. Where's the pace up top now? Add to that the worrying signs that Ching looks more and more a spent force and you've got to wonder if the boys in Orange will look like the 2007 playoff juggernaut or the lot that struggled for goals in the early going. Regardless, if the defense continues to keep the goals out, they'll still be a force to be reckoned with.
3. FC Dallas
Like much of the West--hell, like most of MLS, questions abound about what sort of beast Steve Morrow thinks he's building in the hinterlands of Frisco. Even money says that his Arsenal heritage is what's driving the acquisition of younger and younger players. News flash, Mr. Morrow--you're not Arsene Wenger. That tendency towards youth, however, is balanced by some gray heads in key spots (Davino, Ricchetti, Sala). There is unquestionably talent on the books for the Hoops, but I've still got some major questions about Morrow as a coach. I'm just waiting for the "You don't know what you're doing" chants to ring out around Pizza Hut Park.
4. Real Salt Lake
RSL have the whiff of a possible playoff contender about them and have made some interesting additions over the winter. They don't have a loaded roster, but they've got a bunch of decent players who will put in a lot of work on the field, and that will make them hard to beat. Will "hard to beat" be enough? Maybe--with the right man to lead them. I'm not sure that Kreis is that man, but we'll see how things play out.
5. LA Galaxy - Oy vey! Well, at least Alexi's got them set to dominate a 7 v 7 tourney. Hmm, better make that a 5 v 5. Fielding a competent eleven may be more of an issue. The 2008 Galaxy are bound to score goals with Ruiz flopping about and setting up free kicks for Becks, and Donovan continuing to step up to the "challenge" of MLS. The big questions will come when LA are still a struggling mid-table side round about July or so and the egos (not just the ones on the field!) start to become an issue. Chances of a spectacular Hindenburg-esque disaster? About 50-50.
6. Colorado Rapids
Question numero uno--how long till Clavijo gets the axe? Their starting midfield boasts some real quality and the back line is reasonable, though probably not up to snuff in the current incarnation of MLS. That said, I've gotta ask (1) who's going to stick the ball in the net and (2) how long will they put up with Clavijo's clown show? Has he really done enough to strengthen an underperforming side? If Clavijo is gone by early summer, making way for the triumphant return of John Spencer, they might have a shout at the playoffs seeing as how the West isn't a particularly deep field. If they stick with him, it's looking like yet another disappointing season at the Dick.
7. San Jose Earthquakes
How many days do we have till kickoff, and how many players do the Quakes have on the books? It's tough to call the Quakes until we know what else they'll be bringing to the party. And they better be bringing some more guys, cause at the moment, a modest injury crisis might see them struggling to field eleven players. The funny thing is, they've got some pretty good pieces of the puzzle when it comes to defense and midfield, and they're set in the nets. The biggest problem is that they're looking a bit like San Jose pariah Landon Donovan--thin up top. It always seems to take a new team a few months to gel, and that might be enough to doom the Quakes, though they may still be able to scrape their way off the bottom once Yallop gets them firing on all cylinders and lands himself a quality striker or two. And therein lies the rub. It may be tough to beat Yallop's boys, but the inability to find the net might lead to a lot of draws in place of victories.
So that's the West from my uninformed, loutish perspective. Chivas and Houston should detach themselves from the rest of the pack, but that pack will be a muddled lot behind them. I suspect that Dallas will have enough to separate themselves from the scrum beneath them, but after that, all bets are off. The remaining four might play out in any order, though I'm fairly confident that RSL won't be at the bottom yet again.
Well, boys and girls, we've now pulled out all the entrails and read all the runes for the two conferences. What say we meet back here tomorrow to lay out something resembling a table and take a stab at who's going to the playoffs this year? (At least until MLS HQ changes the playoff rules again, mandating Beckham Rule II-- the Galaxy must get an automatic playoff berth, no matter how dismal their regular season record.)
1. Chivas USA
They've got a damn good starting eleven--as evidenced by last year's fantastic league finish, but beyond that things get a touch dicey. Eskandarian and Cunliffe coming off the bench up top isn't bad, but the midfield and defense are borderline anorexic. That wasn't so much of an issue last year with only two competitions on the docket, but a few extra fixtures and some folks missing in the summer for the Olympics and World Cup qualifying might stretch them. Add in the uncertainty surrounding Brad Guzan (will he jump ship in the summer or not?), and Preki's going to have some questions to answer. Then again, nobody expected the kind of results he got last year, so I'm tempted to think that they may have another decent run in them. Much hinges on keeping Guzan in the net.
2. Houston Dynamo
Talented? Absolutely. Proven winners? Check. Depth? Um, well, sure--the midfield is stacked. Offensive threats? Uh, well--there's that midfield again. Houston are unquestionably among the best in MLS, but I'm thinking back to that oh-so average start they had last year, before Ngwenya showed up and started racing about, pulling defenses out of shape and creating space for that ever so talented midfield to operate in. Where's the pace up top now? Add to that the worrying signs that Ching looks more and more a spent force and you've got to wonder if the boys in Orange will look like the 2007 playoff juggernaut or the lot that struggled for goals in the early going. Regardless, if the defense continues to keep the goals out, they'll still be a force to be reckoned with.
3. FC Dallas
Like much of the West--hell, like most of MLS, questions abound about what sort of beast Steve Morrow thinks he's building in the hinterlands of Frisco. Even money says that his Arsenal heritage is what's driving the acquisition of younger and younger players. News flash, Mr. Morrow--you're not Arsene Wenger. That tendency towards youth, however, is balanced by some gray heads in key spots (Davino, Ricchetti, Sala). There is unquestionably talent on the books for the Hoops, but I've still got some major questions about Morrow as a coach. I'm just waiting for the "You don't know what you're doing" chants to ring out around Pizza Hut Park.
4. Real Salt Lake
RSL have the whiff of a possible playoff contender about them and have made some interesting additions over the winter. They don't have a loaded roster, but they've got a bunch of decent players who will put in a lot of work on the field, and that will make them hard to beat. Will "hard to beat" be enough? Maybe--with the right man to lead them. I'm not sure that Kreis is that man, but we'll see how things play out.
5. LA Galaxy - Oy vey! Well, at least Alexi's got them set to dominate a 7 v 7 tourney. Hmm, better make that a 5 v 5. Fielding a competent eleven may be more of an issue. The 2008 Galaxy are bound to score goals with Ruiz flopping about and setting up free kicks for Becks, and Donovan continuing to step up to the "challenge" of MLS. The big questions will come when LA are still a struggling mid-table side round about July or so and the egos (not just the ones on the field!) start to become an issue. Chances of a spectacular Hindenburg-esque disaster? About 50-50.
6. Colorado Rapids
Question numero uno--how long till Clavijo gets the axe? Their starting midfield boasts some real quality and the back line is reasonable, though probably not up to snuff in the current incarnation of MLS. That said, I've gotta ask (1) who's going to stick the ball in the net and (2) how long will they put up with Clavijo's clown show? Has he really done enough to strengthen an underperforming side? If Clavijo is gone by early summer, making way for the triumphant return of John Spencer, they might have a shout at the playoffs seeing as how the West isn't a particularly deep field. If they stick with him, it's looking like yet another disappointing season at the Dick.
7. San Jose Earthquakes
How many days do we have till kickoff, and how many players do the Quakes have on the books? It's tough to call the Quakes until we know what else they'll be bringing to the party. And they better be bringing some more guys, cause at the moment, a modest injury crisis might see them struggling to field eleven players. The funny thing is, they've got some pretty good pieces of the puzzle when it comes to defense and midfield, and they're set in the nets. The biggest problem is that they're looking a bit like San Jose pariah Landon Donovan--thin up top. It always seems to take a new team a few months to gel, and that might be enough to doom the Quakes, though they may still be able to scrape their way off the bottom once Yallop gets them firing on all cylinders and lands himself a quality striker or two. And therein lies the rub. It may be tough to beat Yallop's boys, but the inability to find the net might lead to a lot of draws in place of victories.
So that's the West from my uninformed, loutish perspective. Chivas and Houston should detach themselves from the rest of the pack, but that pack will be a muddled lot behind them. I suspect that Dallas will have enough to separate themselves from the scrum beneath them, but after that, all bets are off. The remaining four might play out in any order, though I'm fairly confident that RSL won't be at the bottom yet again.
Well, boys and girls, we've now pulled out all the entrails and read all the runes for the two conferences. What say we meet back here tomorrow to lay out something resembling a table and take a stab at who's going to the playoffs this year? (At least until MLS HQ changes the playoff rules again, mandating Beckham Rule II-- the Galaxy must get an automatic playoff berth, no matter how dismal their regular season record.)
Nostra-dumbass Picks . . . the MLS Eastern Conference
Time to dust off the cobwebs, kick the tires, and hop into my trusty time machine for a look at how I think the East will end up this season in MLS. Without further ado . . .
1. DC United
Will all the turnover pay off? That's yet to be seen, but the Black-and-Red boast probably the deepest team in the league. Will they be able to blend it all together and survive a healthy dose of fixture congestion? Last year's model ran out of gas after a similarly jam-packed season, but still managed to boast the best record in the league for the second year running. And last year also saw the introduction of the Brazilians Fred and Emilio to the lineup. So adding three Argentines, a Colombian, and a Peruvian shouldn't be too much more difficult, should it? Right? Hello? My (admittedly limited and supremely biased) money says they'll manage to win the East, if not the whole enchilada. Wait, I thought I was supposed to be a pessimist!
2. New England Revolution
It's a never-ending source of frustration for fans of other MLS franchises to watch Nicol continually pulling blood from the bone-dry stones that the Krafts keep dumping in his yard. You'd be tempted to wonder how he'll do it--yet again--this year, but at this point, who's going to bet against him? The core of the team is still relatively intact and they've got a Latin injection to spice up Nicol's dour brand of ball. This is a possible "feast or famine scenario", particularly with SuperLiga testing the depth a bit, but it just wouldn't be MLS without the Revs miraculously piling up results and making their traditional charge towards ultimate failure in MLS Cup.
3. Chicago Fire
They've got decent depth, some talent and experience in important spots on the field, but outside of that core, they strike me as decidedly average and young--a winning formula pioneered by the hapless Columbus Crew. Color me a wee bit skeptical at this point, particularly with the big question mark hanging over Conde and all the accordant mess surrounding the departure of last year's co-savior, Osorio, to the Red Bulls. Add in a less-than-ideal netminder situation, an unproven head coach, a handful of potentially dangerous forwards without the numbers to back up the threat they might bring, and worries about how Blanco will handle an entire season of dealing with hacks like Heaps and MLS refs, and well, maybe #3 starts to seem a bit of wishful thinking.
4. Kansas City Wizards
Onalfo is putting together an interesting little package out there, but will anybody turn up at the baseball diamond to watch them? There have to be some questions about the defense, particularly with Garcia finding his way to San Jose, and they're banking on some new blood to get the goals. They came out of the gates hot last year, survived a perilous drop to make a bit of a playoff run, but ultimately ran out of steam. And boy, that defense sure makes me nervous--did I mention that yet? It's tough to see which way the Wiz will fall because I don't see them as being terribly upgraded from last year. They've probably got enough in the tank for another playoff run, but beyond that . . . ?
5. New York Red Bulls
Double, double, toil and trouble . . . What manner of witchery is Osorio cooking up in the stagnant swamplands of Jersey? They've lost more than they've gained, and while the men up top are among the strongest in MLS, saying that the midfield and defense look rail-thin might be a bit of an exaggeration. That said, Osorio has proven that he knows what he's doing in the coaching box, and you can bet that he'll pull in some more talent from somewhere. And I'm sure MLS HQ will pull out all the stops and allow creative rule-bending to get a "flagship" franchise on the right track. Of course, that's been tried before . . . with pretty lame results. Much depends upon what Osorio can add and how well they cope with Altidore's probable departure in the summer.
6. Columbus Crew
They'll work hard, be tough to play against, and probably win a few, but where are the goals going to come from? If some of Sigi's young guns start firing, they might squeak into a playoff spot, but I would tend to doubt it at this point. Now, if they can dig up a hitman from somewhere and start banging in some goals in the summer, who knows? The only guarantees are that the crowds will be smaller, and that stage will look awful on television. Ugh!
7. Toronto FC
Woe is Mo! They've had some interesting names pop up on trial, but the roster still looks decidedly unimproved from last year's uninspiring (at least on the field) debut. Those fans deserve better, but at this point it looks like business as usual at Fortress BMO. Will the new Brit in charge bring the "bunker and break" style to MLS? How well will that style work in the doldrums of summer? Does Mo have a clue what he's doing? Damn Magic Eight Ball! It keeps telling me that "All signs point to NO!"
So that's the East as I see it now. One thing is for certain after slogging through this--MLS is a real crapshoot again this year. Looking at what I have above, I can see it playing out that way, but I can also see Chicago either completely imploding or firing on all cylinders. Red Bull are still an enigma wrapped in a mystery, and who knows what the Revs will look like? That is both the blessing and the curse of MLS. All fear the merciless and mighty PARITY!
Tomorrow we'll take a glimpse into the future of the Western Conference, to be followed in short order by Nostra-dumbass' take on what the table will look like heading into the playoffs this year. Only three days left!
1. DC United
Will all the turnover pay off? That's yet to be seen, but the Black-and-Red boast probably the deepest team in the league. Will they be able to blend it all together and survive a healthy dose of fixture congestion? Last year's model ran out of gas after a similarly jam-packed season, but still managed to boast the best record in the league for the second year running. And last year also saw the introduction of the Brazilians Fred and Emilio to the lineup. So adding three Argentines, a Colombian, and a Peruvian shouldn't be too much more difficult, should it? Right? Hello? My (admittedly limited and supremely biased) money says they'll manage to win the East, if not the whole enchilada. Wait, I thought I was supposed to be a pessimist!
2. New England Revolution
It's a never-ending source of frustration for fans of other MLS franchises to watch Nicol continually pulling blood from the bone-dry stones that the Krafts keep dumping in his yard. You'd be tempted to wonder how he'll do it--yet again--this year, but at this point, who's going to bet against him? The core of the team is still relatively intact and they've got a Latin injection to spice up Nicol's dour brand of ball. This is a possible "feast or famine scenario", particularly with SuperLiga testing the depth a bit, but it just wouldn't be MLS without the Revs miraculously piling up results and making their traditional charge towards ultimate failure in MLS Cup.
3. Chicago Fire
They've got decent depth, some talent and experience in important spots on the field, but outside of that core, they strike me as decidedly average and young--a winning formula pioneered by the hapless Columbus Crew. Color me a wee bit skeptical at this point, particularly with the big question mark hanging over Conde and all the accordant mess surrounding the departure of last year's co-savior, Osorio, to the Red Bulls. Add in a less-than-ideal netminder situation, an unproven head coach, a handful of potentially dangerous forwards without the numbers to back up the threat they might bring, and worries about how Blanco will handle an entire season of dealing with hacks like Heaps and MLS refs, and well, maybe #3 starts to seem a bit of wishful thinking.
4. Kansas City Wizards
Onalfo is putting together an interesting little package out there, but will anybody turn up at the baseball diamond to watch them? There have to be some questions about the defense, particularly with Garcia finding his way to San Jose, and they're banking on some new blood to get the goals. They came out of the gates hot last year, survived a perilous drop to make a bit of a playoff run, but ultimately ran out of steam. And boy, that defense sure makes me nervous--did I mention that yet? It's tough to see which way the Wiz will fall because I don't see them as being terribly upgraded from last year. They've probably got enough in the tank for another playoff run, but beyond that . . . ?
5. New York Red Bulls
Double, double, toil and trouble . . . What manner of witchery is Osorio cooking up in the stagnant swamplands of Jersey? They've lost more than they've gained, and while the men up top are among the strongest in MLS, saying that the midfield and defense look rail-thin might be a bit of an exaggeration. That said, Osorio has proven that he knows what he's doing in the coaching box, and you can bet that he'll pull in some more talent from somewhere. And I'm sure MLS HQ will pull out all the stops and allow creative rule-bending to get a "flagship" franchise on the right track. Of course, that's been tried before . . . with pretty lame results. Much depends upon what Osorio can add and how well they cope with Altidore's probable departure in the summer.
6. Columbus Crew
They'll work hard, be tough to play against, and probably win a few, but where are the goals going to come from? If some of Sigi's young guns start firing, they might squeak into a playoff spot, but I would tend to doubt it at this point. Now, if they can dig up a hitman from somewhere and start banging in some goals in the summer, who knows? The only guarantees are that the crowds will be smaller, and that stage will look awful on television. Ugh!
7. Toronto FC
Woe is Mo! They've had some interesting names pop up on trial, but the roster still looks decidedly unimproved from last year's uninspiring (at least on the field) debut. Those fans deserve better, but at this point it looks like business as usual at Fortress BMO. Will the new Brit in charge bring the "bunker and break" style to MLS? How well will that style work in the doldrums of summer? Does Mo have a clue what he's doing? Damn Magic Eight Ball! It keeps telling me that "All signs point to NO!"
So that's the East as I see it now. One thing is for certain after slogging through this--MLS is a real crapshoot again this year. Looking at what I have above, I can see it playing out that way, but I can also see Chicago either completely imploding or firing on all cylinders. Red Bull are still an enigma wrapped in a mystery, and who knows what the Revs will look like? That is both the blessing and the curse of MLS. All fear the merciless and mighty PARITY!
Tomorrow we'll take a glimpse into the future of the Western Conference, to be followed in short order by Nostra-dumbass' take on what the table will look like heading into the playoffs this year. Only three days left!
Tickle v. Tackle - Where's Endor?
CONCACRAP Champions' Cup
Tickle - DC took a while, but they finally managed to completely eviscerate Harbour View's back line with an explosion of goals in the middle of the second half. The defense looks solid, Quaranta is giving early signs that his acquisition may have been a real steal, and the goals are finally starting to hit the back of the net. Pachuca will be an entirely different animal, but current evidence points to them not exactly setting the pitch on fire with their play.
Tackle - Houston held up their end of the bargain for MLS as well, though they had more of a struggle with an admittedly more competent opponent. They can thank Pat Onstad and some questionable officiating for making things much more comfortable, though isn't it nice to be thanking the officiating rather than lambasting it for a change? Sure they've got a deep and talented range of midfielders, but the forward and back lines may be a bit thin for the marathon season ahead, and color me skeptical about that center back pairing. 'Ware the perils of blog.com/loss_of_focus.htm, my orange-clad friends!
Soccer Sleepovers
Tickle - Returning from out of town and with my wife still on the road, my daughter and I held our second "Soccer Sleepover", scarfing waffles while taking in Roma-Lazio, and pausing briefly for a bit of FIFA '08 on the Wii before bunking down to let the gentle light of the Dynamo's match with Municipal spread its soporific glow over us.
Tackle - You'll notice that I said "light" above--with no mention of sound. That's because I'm not a cruel parent and thus was foresighted enough to turn the volume way down to avoid the slings and arrows of outrageous Miles, Bretos, and whatever other loonball the geniuses at FSC managed to dig up, reanimate, and equip with a microphone. Imagine the damage a fragile young mind could experience being subjected to such an onslaught! Please FSC--won't somebody think of the children who might be watching?
The Prem
Tickle - It's a three horse race now, though Spurs did their level best yesterday to submarine Chelsea's charge. Realistically though, does anybody (besides Arsenal fans) think that the Gunners can survive their recent collapse? Blood is in the water and ManU and Chelski are not sharks of the forgiving ilk.
Tackle - But doesn't it just suck that it's always the same old faces in the same old places? No matter how well a less well-funded side does--be it the likes of Blackburn last year, or Everton this year--the most they can hope for is to snatch at a place in Europe. On the one hand, it's a beautiful thing to have the big, nasty villains with miles of history cruising about in their Death Star, blowing up the little guys. That's tradition. That's dramatic tension. That's a story. That gives you Yavin and a proton torpedo up the big boys' sphincter. But that's just one match--one battle. Where's Endor? Where are the little guys lifting the trophy? The story smacks of the current dross churned out by Hollywood--all promise and window dressing, with none of the satisfying nougat center.
Olympic Qualifying
Tickle - Hands up if you're not still laughing at Hugo Sanchez. I almost wanted to see El Tri scrape their dramatic way into the semis, if only to crush their inflated hopes utterly in the next round. The problem is, with the way Nowak's charges are performing, I'm not sure we would handle Mexico. As it is, we just have our friends from the Great Frozen North to squeak past and the US boys can book their tickets to China. It hasn't been inspiring stuff, but the results have fallen into place so far.
Tackle - I'm still hugely disappointed in the US performance in qualifying and wondering a bit about Nowak's decision-making and tactical choices. Should we be satisfied that he managed to get the US into the semis while the Mexicans tripped at the first hurdle, thus demonstrating that maybe the region isn't as lopsided as many would believe?
Tickle - DC took a while, but they finally managed to completely eviscerate Harbour View's back line with an explosion of goals in the middle of the second half. The defense looks solid, Quaranta is giving early signs that his acquisition may have been a real steal, and the goals are finally starting to hit the back of the net. Pachuca will be an entirely different animal, but current evidence points to them not exactly setting the pitch on fire with their play.
Tackle - Houston held up their end of the bargain for MLS as well, though they had more of a struggle with an admittedly more competent opponent. They can thank Pat Onstad and some questionable officiating for making things much more comfortable, though isn't it nice to be thanking the officiating rather than lambasting it for a change? Sure they've got a deep and talented range of midfielders, but the forward and back lines may be a bit thin for the marathon season ahead, and color me skeptical about that center back pairing. 'Ware the perils of blog.com/loss_of_focus.htm, my orange-clad friends!
Soccer Sleepovers
Tickle - Returning from out of town and with my wife still on the road, my daughter and I held our second "Soccer Sleepover", scarfing waffles while taking in Roma-Lazio, and pausing briefly for a bit of FIFA '08 on the Wii before bunking down to let the gentle light of the Dynamo's match with Municipal spread its soporific glow over us.
Tackle - You'll notice that I said "light" above--with no mention of sound. That's because I'm not a cruel parent and thus was foresighted enough to turn the volume way down to avoid the slings and arrows of outrageous Miles, Bretos, and whatever other loonball the geniuses at FSC managed to dig up, reanimate, and equip with a microphone. Imagine the damage a fragile young mind could experience being subjected to such an onslaught! Please FSC--won't somebody think of the children who might be watching?
The Prem
Tickle - It's a three horse race now, though Spurs did their level best yesterday to submarine Chelsea's charge. Realistically though, does anybody (besides Arsenal fans) think that the Gunners can survive their recent collapse? Blood is in the water and ManU and Chelski are not sharks of the forgiving ilk.
Tackle - But doesn't it just suck that it's always the same old faces in the same old places? No matter how well a less well-funded side does--be it the likes of Blackburn last year, or Everton this year--the most they can hope for is to snatch at a place in Europe. On the one hand, it's a beautiful thing to have the big, nasty villains with miles of history cruising about in their Death Star, blowing up the little guys. That's tradition. That's dramatic tension. That's a story. That gives you Yavin and a proton torpedo up the big boys' sphincter. But that's just one match--one battle. Where's Endor? Where are the little guys lifting the trophy? The story smacks of the current dross churned out by Hollywood--all promise and window dressing, with none of the satisfying nougat center.
Olympic Qualifying
Tickle - Hands up if you're not still laughing at Hugo Sanchez. I almost wanted to see El Tri scrape their dramatic way into the semis, if only to crush their inflated hopes utterly in the next round. The problem is, with the way Nowak's charges are performing, I'm not sure we would handle Mexico. As it is, we just have our friends from the Great Frozen North to squeak past and the US boys can book their tickets to China. It hasn't been inspiring stuff, but the results have fallen into place so far.
Tackle - I'm still hugely disappointed in the US performance in qualifying and wondering a bit about Nowak's decision-making and tactical choices. Should we be satisfied that he managed to get the US into the semis while the Mexicans tripped at the first hurdle, thus demonstrating that maybe the region isn't as lopsided as many would believe?
United Recap - Rather Pixelated
Seeing as how I'm on the road and watched last night's match in a tiny streaming-video window whilst holding a conversation, my comments will be necessarily brief, rather pixelated, and, unfortunately, buffering . . . buffering . . . buffering ;-).
* I'll admit it--for about the first hour or so, I was worried. We were all over them but clinging to a narrow one-goal lead, and The View was starting to surge, with Scarlett bursting up the left and a few chances being created in and around the top of the box.
* The passing, particularly out of the back, was sloppy to say the least. That said, it was miles better than the first leg. I suppose you can attribute that to a combination of a better pitch with another week of "getting to know you" from the boys in black. The sharpness will come.
* I was a bit worried about Gallardo's free kicks last week--not the direct strikes, but rather the balls into the box for folks to crash in on. Guess we had that little question answered emphatically as McTavish bundled the opener home.
* Speaking of McT, I wonder how long he can hold off Emilio for the top goalscorer spot? Luci's brace drew him level, but Deadly Devon struck back and snatched another opportunistic finish from inside the six to push his tally to three.
* Gallardo's tendency to play deeper and to actually, you know, get involved defensively, should let our wings play higher, producing the type of counter we saw over and over again last night when The View pushed forward--three or four black shirts strung out along the back line, waiting to run onto a ball dumped in behind the defense. Had our finishing been any sharper, or The View's back line any slower, we might have hung double digits on them.
* I'm really, really excited about our defense. Los Gonzalos are solid, and that solidity is allowing Burch the freedom to really push forward and get involved in the attack. Namoff will be his normal, underrated, consistent self, and I'm a lot more confident in Wells dealing with high balls into the box than I ever was with Perkins. We've yet to see if he can bring the Troy-style goods on one-on-one's, but Wells' command of the box and an improved defense that won't allow as many clear breaks should cover any deficiencies in this area. To round it all out, Simms just needs a bit more seasoning to wed his tackling and the ground he covers with a slightly better reading of the game. I'm still not completely sold on his positioning and ability to wreck attacks coming through the middle, but he's getting there.
Overall grade? I'd go somewhere around a B+, given that it's only our second match and we did bag five goals. That said, we should have had more, the passing wasn't up to snuff, and Fred wound up with a pacifier stuck in his mouth.
Vamos United!
* I'll admit it--for about the first hour or so, I was worried. We were all over them but clinging to a narrow one-goal lead, and The View was starting to surge, with Scarlett bursting up the left and a few chances being created in and around the top of the box.
* The passing, particularly out of the back, was sloppy to say the least. That said, it was miles better than the first leg. I suppose you can attribute that to a combination of a better pitch with another week of "getting to know you" from the boys in black. The sharpness will come.
* I was a bit worried about Gallardo's free kicks last week--not the direct strikes, but rather the balls into the box for folks to crash in on. Guess we had that little question answered emphatically as McTavish bundled the opener home.
* Speaking of McT, I wonder how long he can hold off Emilio for the top goalscorer spot? Luci's brace drew him level, but Deadly Devon struck back and snatched another opportunistic finish from inside the six to push his tally to three.
* Gallardo's tendency to play deeper and to actually, you know, get involved defensively, should let our wings play higher, producing the type of counter we saw over and over again last night when The View pushed forward--three or four black shirts strung out along the back line, waiting to run onto a ball dumped in behind the defense. Had our finishing been any sharper, or The View's back line any slower, we might have hung double digits on them.
* I'm really, really excited about our defense. Los Gonzalos are solid, and that solidity is allowing Burch the freedom to really push forward and get involved in the attack. Namoff will be his normal, underrated, consistent self, and I'm a lot more confident in Wells dealing with high balls into the box than I ever was with Perkins. We've yet to see if he can bring the Troy-style goods on one-on-one's, but Wells' command of the box and an improved defense that won't allow as many clear breaks should cover any deficiencies in this area. To round it all out, Simms just needs a bit more seasoning to wed his tackling and the ground he covers with a slightly better reading of the game. I'm still not completely sold on his positioning and ability to wreck attacks coming through the middle, but he's getting there.
Overall grade? I'd go somewhere around a B+, given that it's only our second match and we did bag five goals. That said, we should have had more, the passing wasn't up to snuff, and Fred wound up with a pacifier stuck in his mouth.
Vamos United!
The Random Wheel Goes Round
* West freakin' Ham? Oh, for crying out loud MLS--is this the best you can do for an All-Star opponent? Sure, the Hammers have an American on the roster, but assuming the U-23's can finish the job in qualifying, Spector will be in China, not Canada.
* And speaking of our Canuck compatriots in the Frozen White North, beware of TFC. According to Auntie Beeb, those red jerseys are to be feared. FEARED! Personally, I think the packed, noisy, and streamer-infested crowd will help more than the red jerseys, but every little bit helps, right?
* Back to that All-Star fiasco. What are the chances that MLS has hopped aboard the Obamamania Express train to Hopetown and booked the Hammers in a desperate bid to get their high-profile fan into that packed house, but then screwed the pooch in typical MLS pooch-screwing fashion by dumping the game up in Canada? Imagine the hilarity (or, more appropriately, the Hannity) if Obama shows up in CANADA watching SOCCER during the campaign!
* Remember the days when US Soccer was all about hustle, fitness, out-working the opposition, and hard-tackling d-mids? Okay, now reconcile that image with the U-23 performance last night. Now admitted, I did only catch the second half, but since when is Dax McCarty a midfield hard man? Sure, we're the technical boys now, and we can string some pretty passing together, but Panama just looked more dangerous, more athletic, and were not that far away from getting a result in that game. In more positive news, Mr. Adu looked pretty damn useful out there despite the dainty midfield behind him.
* Hey, guess what? When I turned on FSC last night to catch some of that aforementioned second half, I managed to mute it within 2 seconds, which means the only Christian Miles I had to deal with was seeing his name flashed on the screen as the "announcer"--and I do use that term loosely. How about Grand Poobah of Mispronunciation, Crown Prince of Pathetic Punditry, Le Marquis de Misidentification, Sultan of Stupidity, Emperor of Egregious Errors, Baron of Bad British-isms, or Lord High Chancellor of Incompetence? Seriously, man, I'm ready to print out your business cards--give me a ring.
* And speaking of our Canuck compatriots in the Frozen White North, beware of TFC. According to Auntie Beeb, those red jerseys are to be feared. FEARED! Personally, I think the packed, noisy, and streamer-infested crowd will help more than the red jerseys, but every little bit helps, right?
* Back to that All-Star fiasco. What are the chances that MLS has hopped aboard the Obamamania Express train to Hopetown and booked the Hammers in a desperate bid to get their high-profile fan into that packed house, but then screwed the pooch in typical MLS pooch-screwing fashion by dumping the game up in Canada? Imagine the hilarity (or, more appropriately, the Hannity) if Obama shows up in CANADA watching SOCCER during the campaign!
* Remember the days when US Soccer was all about hustle, fitness, out-working the opposition, and hard-tackling d-mids? Okay, now reconcile that image with the U-23 performance last night. Now admitted, I did only catch the second half, but since when is Dax McCarty a midfield hard man? Sure, we're the technical boys now, and we can string some pretty passing together, but Panama just looked more dangerous, more athletic, and were not that far away from getting a result in that game. In more positive news, Mr. Adu looked pretty damn useful out there despite the dainty midfield behind him.
* Hey, guess what? When I turned on FSC last night to catch some of that aforementioned second half, I managed to mute it within 2 seconds, which means the only Christian Miles I had to deal with was seeing his name flashed on the screen as the "announcer"--and I do use that term loosely. How about Grand Poobah of Mispronunciation, Crown Prince of Pathetic Punditry, Le Marquis de Misidentification, Sultan of Stupidity, Emperor of Egregious Errors, Baron of Bad British-isms, or Lord High Chancellor of Incompetence? Seriously, man, I'm ready to print out your business cards--give me a ring.
United Recap - Pass the Mouthwash
So which part of United's 1-1 draw with Harbour View was the most vomit-inducing for you: the quality of the play, the quality of the officials, or the quality of the announcers? United looked rough, but you pretty much could have predicted that with the crappy pitch on offer and the lack of match sharpness for United coming in. Regardless, I thought we'd show a little better than that.
Some quick hits:
Some quick hits:
- Los Gonzalos were solid though the center official seemed pretty intent to blow up any United player that dared to challenge for a ball in the air, which pretty much limited Peralta's effectiveness. Interesting to see the speedy Martinez dropping off into almost a sweeper role, though I'd put this down more to United being wary of the Jamaicans' speed than an indication of things to come.
- The wings were not so strong, either in attack or defense, though Fred seemed to come more into the match as it progressed. With Gallardo dropping deeper than Gomez ever did and playing some defense to boot, that should give our wide players more opportunity to get forward, but it just wasn't happening.
- Gallardo wasn't exactly disappointing, but he didn't dominate proceedings either. The one thing I like is that he's not the sort of playmaker to dwell on the ball. His touches are quick and he keeps the ball moving. If we can ever manage to generate some wide play, this could be devastating. As it is, he really only seemed to have a good understanding with Fred and Niell. The pitch probably played its part, but I was a bit worried about the quality of the free kicks--one of the things we'll miss most with the loss of Gomez.
- The striking corps weren't exactly on fire either. Emilio looked lost, and his touch was awful to boot. Moreno didn't have much of a chance to shine before limping off. I thought that Niell was going to be an instant impact as he started out in such a threatening manner, but was only able to make a few darting runs. Of course, he should have drawn a red when he got wrestled down on a dash through the middle, but the typically incompetent CONCACRAP ref did what his ilk do best--fail miserably at the critical juncture.
- 1-1 isn't the best result, but it should do. On a decent surface in RFK, with another week of work under their belts, it shouldn't be too much trouble for the boys to dispatch The View, though the ref could always make the job much more difficult. I'll be looking for a more positive approach from United, with an attacking option coming on in place of McTavish on the right wing.
- Though I was excited to see the Bard get some minutes in Jamaica, it's just the same old song from Soehn--bring on the second d-mid for a striker to protect the lead, just like he did so often with Carroll last year. I can only hope that he's just looking to blood the kid, rather than plodding along in the same old rut we wore down last year. How about a little variety, a little innovation? Or am I just expecting too much from MLS (and American coaches in general)? Is it just me, or does Soehn seem too rigid tactically?
- So what's my answer to the initial question posed above? Let's see--I think I've already gone on about the play--fairly miserable with a dash of choppiness courtesy of the man with the whistle and some pretty horrible looking warts owing to the field. The officials? Yes, the man in the middle didn't seem particularly equitable and wanted to whistle everything, though he seemed to have it in for Burch, Peralta, and Emilio in particular. And yes, that far side official needs to be rendered down into shark chum. What the hell was he looking at on some of those offsides calls against United in the first half? And Burch's "foul" that eventually led to the petulant yellow? Ugh. But top honors must go the the dynamic duo in the booth for FSC. I think I'll be hearing Caligiuri's "low risk" mantra and stunningly vacant commentary in my nightmares tonight. But if Caligiuri is bad--and he is, oh sweet Jebus, he's awful--he'll never hope to approach the Prince of Darkness, the Incubus of Inanity, the Antichrist of American soccer broadcasting--Christian Miles. Of course, I really have only myself to blame for going through about 40 minutes of hell before I remembered that I control the volume on the damn television. Oh, to have those 40 minutes back. Better yet, make it the last couple of hours.
Tickle v. Tackle - Vendetta, Baby!
DC United
Tickle - My, oh my, but there seems to be Much Ado about Stratford. Measure for Measure he seems to be making quite an impression on the United braintrust--enough to earn a spot in the 18-man squad traveling to the islands in the face of a Tempest of competition for places. After the Comedy of Errors surrounding the Jacobson Affair, this Winter's Tale seems to have come to a happy conclusion for the United midfield. Here's hoping All's Well That Ends Well. Suppie power!
Tackle - Remember back when we were first welcoming our new draft picks and I thought that Ryan Cordeiro had a strikingly Tino-esque presence in his photos courtesy of the hair product and the faux "I'm a badass" look? Well, seems that the resemblance went into numerology as well, with young Cordeiro sporting Tino's once-curséd #25 during training camp. Now that Q1 is back in the fold, it looks like he'll be taking it back. Can the numbers truly reveal all?
England
Tickle - Oh, that FA Cup! Little Jack Barnsley has been slaying nasty Prem giants all the way to the semi-finals. How long can their run continue? Well, now that the Big Four have all gone out and they're facing mighty Championship opposition, they'll probably crash out with an awful appearance in the semifinals at Wembley.
Tackle - Fulhamerica get jobbed by the refs for the second week running, but still manage a draw on the road to a top-half of the table club, with EJ's speed looking much more of a danger than his technical ability (surprise, surprise). You have to wonder how much better the Cottagers' league position would be had Bullard been healthy all year.
Mega-Tackle of the Week
Nowak's much-hyped US U-23's are not exactly off to a flying start in the Olympic qualifying tourney after opening with a 1-1 draw against lowly Cuba. Rampant speculation had the offensive might of the US Men's unloved, much-neglected middle child steamrolling the competition. Not so fast! The US should still manage to get out of their group, but the danger is exactly the same as it was last time--avoiding Mexico in the semi's. Of course, some--myself included, wouldn't mind seeing the US start slow, finish second in the group, but ride a rising tide of momentum that grows to tsunami levels and flattens our amigos south of the 2-0 divide, crushing their Olympic dreams. Vendetta, baby!
Tickle - My, oh my, but there seems to be Much Ado about Stratford. Measure for Measure he seems to be making quite an impression on the United braintrust--enough to earn a spot in the 18-man squad traveling to the islands in the face of a Tempest of competition for places. After the Comedy of Errors surrounding the Jacobson Affair, this Winter's Tale seems to have come to a happy conclusion for the United midfield. Here's hoping All's Well That Ends Well. Suppie power!
Tackle - Remember back when we were first welcoming our new draft picks and I thought that Ryan Cordeiro had a strikingly Tino-esque presence in his photos courtesy of the hair product and the faux "I'm a badass" look? Well, seems that the resemblance went into numerology as well, with young Cordeiro sporting Tino's once-curséd #25 during training camp. Now that Q1 is back in the fold, it looks like he'll be taking it back. Can the numbers truly reveal all?
England
Tickle - Oh, that FA Cup! Little Jack Barnsley has been slaying nasty Prem giants all the way to the semi-finals. How long can their run continue? Well, now that the Big Four have all gone out and they're facing mighty Championship opposition, they'll probably crash out with an awful appearance in the semifinals at Wembley.
Tackle - Fulhamerica get jobbed by the refs for the second week running, but still manage a draw on the road to a top-half of the table club, with EJ's speed looking much more of a danger than his technical ability (surprise, surprise). You have to wonder how much better the Cottagers' league position would be had Bullard been healthy all year.
Mega-Tackle of the Week
Nowak's much-hyped US U-23's are not exactly off to a flying start in the Olympic qualifying tourney after opening with a 1-1 draw against lowly Cuba. Rampant speculation had the offensive might of the US Men's unloved, much-neglected middle child steamrolling the competition. Not so fast! The US should still manage to get out of their group, but the danger is exactly the same as it was last time--avoiding Mexico in the semi's. Of course, some--myself included, wouldn't mind seeing the US start slow, finish second in the group, but ride a rising tide of momentum that grows to tsunami levels and flattens our amigos south of the 2-0 divide, crushing their Olympic dreams. Vendetta, baby!
Season . . . Must . . . Start . . . Now!
Raving Obamaphile: Look at how inclusive our Fearless Leader is. Magnificent! The sheer Audacity! The Hope he brings! Surely we can't go wrong with someone who is open-minded enough to appreciate the world's most popular game? Surely he will rebuild the bridges burned by the current administration?
Joe USA Sportsfan: But just look at all those American basketballs siting on the rack--ignored, unloved! So lonely. Goddamn Euro-hippy-pinko-queer!
Me: Appreciates the game my ass--he likes West Freakin' Ham! Technique's not half bad though . . .
Raving Obamaphile: (zombie-like chanting) Change . . . hope . . . change . . . hope . . . change
Joe USA Sportsfan: (suspiciously) Wait a minute! I think I've seen something like this before. My Euro-commie Gaydar is going freakin' nuts!
Me: (helpfully) Uh, you mean this guy?
Raving Obamaphile: Change . . . (pause) . . . #%(*#@!
Joe USA Sportsfan: Yeah, that's the one! Wait a minute--isn't that the same goddamn ball?
Me: Conspiracy!
Tickle v. Tackle - Dispatching the Creaking Crones
DC United & MLS
Tickle
Goals, goals, goals! United kick off the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Ultimate Challenge Smackdown with a pair of 2-1 victories over the baby Goats. Good to see the boys starting to find the net. Particularly encouraging is the involvement of the new players . . . And how 'bout that dwarf? Niell sticks in another with his noggin to take his pre-season tally to three headed goals . . . Q1 is back in black and none too soon. If he is indeed focused, I'll be much more comfortable having him man the right flank while Beninho works his way back from the vampiric ankle voodoo, than putting Kirk, Moose, Mediate, or whoever out there as a stopgap . . .
Tackle
Oh MLS, why do you have to go and shoot yourself in the head (or heart, as the case may be) over and over again? It's just not amusing any more.
Champions' League
(that one across the pond, not the world-conquering CONCACAF version set to launch this summer/fall ;-)
(that one across the pond, not the world-conquering CONCACAF version set to launch this summer/fall ;-)
Tickle
Sevilla v. Fenerbahce was magnificent watching (at least the extended highlights were). True--the defending wasn't great and the goalkeeping questionable at best, but both sides went for it and attacked with real intent, which can't be said for some of those staid old matrons of the G14 . . . Speaking of said ancient, rickety hags, well done to the swashbuckling Roma and Arsenal, who took their away legs by the scruff of the neck and shook hard until the creaking crones of Milan and Madrid gave up the ghost. A fantastic victory for futbol! . . .
Tackle
Alas for poor Porto! Schalke did their miserable best not to entertain, but still needed a superheroic performance from Manuel Neuer in the net to keep their opponents at bay. Having watched some of the unfortunate mistakes that have haunted Herr Neuer this season, I'm frankly astonished at the saves he was pulling out of his posterior . . .
Dust and Cobwebs
Alright, let's shake off the dust and cobwebs a bit and get back into the blogging groove!
The waiver draft came, the waiver draft went--few were aware of its passing. But it did dump a defender on our
doorstep as Jeff Curtin's rights were picked up from Chicago after two unremarkable years with the Fire. Curtin brings serious size, defensive depth, and a small wage hit, all of which make him an attractive (well, not that attractive--check out the photo--looks like he'd be more at home on our "special" reserve squad--ugh, I'm evil, I know) target for United.
Kelly Gray was also available, and probably would have been a decent pickup for the number of roles he can fill, but I'm assuming that the front office doesn't want to waste a senior roster spot on a defensive role player like Gray. Besides, they've got basically the same model in a similar package with McTavish. I'm also not entirely aware of Gray's current salary, but the cap hit may have been a deciding factor as well.
I feel that I've also been a bit remiss in not yet commenting on the return of Q1 to the fold (pictured with Seria A-ready locks!). Despite his deplorable behavior at RFK while with Lalas'
Abomination and his injury-marred, freeloading first run with the club, if he's focused, fit and willing to accept a reasonable wage based on performance and not reputation, Quaranta could be an absolute steal. He's only a few years removed from garnering caps for the full national side, has the skill set to succeed with this team, and seems to be taking the profession a bit more seriously. Not to mention the fact that he brings us experienced, quality depth on the wing--currently the area that I would consider our biggest weakness. Hand-wringing apologies are fine and all, but if Santino can just wrap his head around what it takes to be a professional and work his way onto this team, he can only add to the depth and talent on this roster. That kind of depth heats up the competition for places in the starting eleven and should give us the ability to make it through the 50+ game marathon ahead.
From all indications, the team is focused on doing some damage at the pre-season Texas tourney that they'll be starting tonight, and I for one am extremely interested in seeing some balls start to hit the back of the net. All this jazz about "we're getting the fitness down" and "the results aren't important" are beginning to wear thin as we approach our first competitive match in, let's see . . . a week? (gulp!)
The waiver draft came, the waiver draft went--few were aware of its passing. But it did dump a defender on our
doorstep as Jeff Curtin's rights were picked up from Chicago after two unremarkable years with the Fire. Curtin brings serious size, defensive depth, and a small wage hit, all of which make him an attractive (well, not that attractive--check out the photo--looks like he'd be more at home on our "special" reserve squad--ugh, I'm evil, I know) target for United.Kelly Gray was also available, and probably would have been a decent pickup for the number of roles he can fill, but I'm assuming that the front office doesn't want to waste a senior roster spot on a defensive role player like Gray. Besides, they've got basically the same model in a similar package with McTavish. I'm also not entirely aware of Gray's current salary, but the cap hit may have been a deciding factor as well.
I feel that I've also been a bit remiss in not yet commenting on the return of Q1 to the fold (pictured with Seria A-ready locks!). Despite his deplorable behavior at RFK while with Lalas'
Abomination and his injury-marred, freeloading first run with the club, if he's focused, fit and willing to accept a reasonable wage based on performance and not reputation, Quaranta could be an absolute steal. He's only a few years removed from garnering caps for the full national side, has the skill set to succeed with this team, and seems to be taking the profession a bit more seriously. Not to mention the fact that he brings us experienced, quality depth on the wing--currently the area that I would consider our biggest weakness. Hand-wringing apologies are fine and all, but if Santino can just wrap his head around what it takes to be a professional and work his way onto this team, he can only add to the depth and talent on this roster. That kind of depth heats up the competition for places in the starting eleven and should give us the ability to make it through the 50+ game marathon ahead.From all indications, the team is focused on doing some damage at the pre-season Texas tourney that they'll be starting tonight, and I for one am extremely interested in seeing some balls start to hit the back of the net. All this jazz about "we're getting the fitness down" and "the results aren't important" are beginning to wear thin as we approach our first competitive match in, let's see . . . a week? (gulp!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)