Lazy Saturday...

Okay, so first things first...the MLS HQ troglodytes should be ashamed of themselves. Fining Payne $5k for criticizing other teams' style of play? Shameful...and predictable. Also predictable? Payne's apology. But what to make of this bit of it..?

"In trying to explain the sometimes unfair expectations on the head coach of D.C. United, I made critical comments of Colorado, New England, Real Salt Lake and the league."

Excuse me? What's the unfair expectation? To actually qualify for the playoffs? When more than half of the league does so? Or is it the expectation that we'll play the"attractive, attacking" style that we so obviously played this year (fire up the sarcasmeters!). The subtext here is what's really worrying though, because it suggests that Tommy might have a future with United.

Speaking of futures with United...Wicks goes under the knife and now joins Tino on the 4-6 months out injured shelf. Goffster proceeds to dangle the bait about Wicks' future with the club seeing as how he'll probably be out of action for pre-season. Sadly, I think we'll probably see him back (my complaints should be obvious to regular readers: poor decision making, the statue-pose on close-range finishes, the anger issues).

The question becomes: do we recruit somebody to challenge him for the starting job, because I don't see Kocic being able to do that? Of course, there was this guy who looked lost in his rookie year and turned out okay, but I don't see Kocic having that kind of potential.

MLS Playoff Prattle | Crank up the Prognostication Engines!

It's that time of year again, MLS fans. The leaves are turning, a chill wind blows from the north, DC United are watching from home (sniff!), and the playoffs are getting ready to kick into gear. So let's take a look at the matchups and consult the Nostrodameter for predictions...


Houston Dynamo v. Seattle Sounders

We'll kick things off tomorrow with the Dynamo visiting the funny man and his marching band on the plastic patch in Seattle. Houston weren't exactly on fire as they came down the stretch, but I had the feeling that they were just biding their time, waiting to crank it up when the stakes got higher. Seattle appeared to have hit a slump coming out of the summer, but were starting to work their way back into form as the season wore down. Can that run continue?

* Prediction: Seattle will need to take a lead back to Houston, and it'll probably need to be a multi-goal one if they hope to survive. I think this is a step too far for them. If it was anybody but the Crew or Dynamo, I'd give them a shot, but I call Orangemen 3, Infectedsnotmen 2, on aggregate.


Columbus Crew v. Real Salt Lake

RSL pounded the playoff door down after it looked like their inconsistency might kill them off. They've got an array of solid attacking options that will worry the Crew defense, particularly if Marshall isn't back from injury. However, the Crew will be able to ask some questions of their own when it comes to the RSL defense. The big question will probably be this: does RSL's momentum from their last-gasp qualification carry forward against a complacent Crew, or does the rested Schelotto pick apart an RSL defense given to major wobbles?

* Prediction: This is a lot harder to call than I would have anticipated on first seeing the draw. I do think that RSL will take a lead to Columbus. Sadly, I fear that their road woes will bite hard, and Columbus will roar back to advance. Hardhats 4, Fake Spaniards 3, on aggregate after extra time in Estadio del Crew.


Chicago Fire v. New England Revolution

So what's the opposite of the old immovable object vs. unstoppable force cliche? The Fire stumbled their way into the playoffs, only claiming the #2 spot in the East on the final weekend after the rest of the Conference pretty much conspired to give it to them. They've got weapons and veteran savvy, but haven't done much to take advantage of either. The Revs were limping in as well, but at least they have an excuse in the form of three starters on the long-term injury shelf. This one generally has its fair share of controversy and incident, but I expect goals to be at a premium.

* Prediction: New England play some dour defensive stuff to keep things tight and go to Chicago after a goalless draw. After the Fire repeatedly shoot wide or run up against Reis, Joseph climbs highest for a late floated free kick and the miracle Revs advance. Minutemen 1, Underachievers Anonymous 0, on aggregate.


Los Angeles Galaxy v. Chivas USA

And that brings us finally to the big LA derby. At least nobody has to worry about travel plans, right? Chivas burst out of the gates this season laying waste to all in their path. But then summer hit, and their injury list began to grow...and grow...and grow. And just when all seemed lost, Preki got the ship turned round and back they came. The Galaxy were boring by comparison. They started slow, but then built slowly and steadily, until, to the shock of pretty much everybody, they were steaming towards the Western Conference crown. So who takes the double-SuperClasico?

* Prediction: It's hard to ignore the regular season meetings (one 0-0 draw, and two LA 1-0 victories), particularly since Chivas didn't score in any of them. But larger than that, I think Donovan gives LA an edge that Chivas just can't match. Mandon 3, Stripeygoats 1, on aggregate.


Thoughts? Predictions?

MLS Table Talk | Bringing the Curtain Down

Before we transition to MLS Playoff Prattle (the post-season replacement for the Dogpile and Table Talk, in case you've forgotten from last year), let's take one last look at how the final single table shaped up in MLS this year...

• Just talkin' bout parity. Yes, you could argue that the Supporters' Shield-winning Crew were a much better team than, for example, 12th-placed Toronto FC. But in the end, what separated them? 10 points. That's right, if you ignore the "relegation candidates" in the bottom three spaces, all of the other twelve teams in MLS were compressed into a 10-point span. Remarkable. The question then becomes, why the outliers at the bottom and not the top? Surely if parity creates a system whereby mismanagement, poor player personnel decisions, and the vagaries of luck can drop a team away from the pack, then the inverse should provide for a couple of runaway leaders. Hmmm.
• The defense does not rest! Take a look at that AG (allowed goals per game) column. What do you notice? Defense wins championships. Or at least gets you to the post-season. Every playoff team conceded between 1 and 1.2 goals per game. Of those going home early, only the Rapids managed to concede at a rate anywhere close (1.3 AG). The rest were all at 1.5 AG or worse save the Wizards, who somehow managed to finish with a 1.4 AG while remaining comfortably off the playoff spots.
• Scoring is overrated? But perhaps the goals allowed is due to conservative teams making the playoffs. Consider: only two playoff sides scored more than 40 goals in a 30-game season. Those two? The league-leading Crew barely squeaked across the 40-goal line with 41, and RSL barely squeaked into the playoffs with 43. Of the non-playoff sides, two (the Rapids and United) scored more than 40, and FC Dallas managed a lofty 50. In fact, the seven sides that missed the playoffs averaged 38.3 goals per game, lowly Red Bulls included, while the playoff sides averaged 37.9.

Anything else catch your eye in the numbers?

Memory Lane (With Voting!)

Go take a trip down memory lane and see how many of these USA jerseys you remember with fondness (superheroes! Speed Racer! shame about the centered logo)...



nausea (to be fair, the 90's boasted some hideous jerseys, but still)...


or pain (ugh, I'd almost erased that memory)...


Then engage in some web-democracy in action. My vote? Tough one, but probably...


You?

Seriously, Part III

Seriously?

"The problem in our league isn't who is or isn't in the playoffs; it's that not enough people want to watch our league yet, and we have to convince them that our league is worth watching. I don't think [playing conservatively] is the way to do it. I recognize there is more than one way to skin a cat. I'm not saying that everyone has to play an attacking style, but that is our style and identity, and we have to be honest with ourselves and say there are sometimes liabilities [such as missing the playoffs] that come with it." - Kevin Payne

Go read the whole sorry thing over at the Goffster's place if you haven't already. Go ahead, I'll wait...

Done? Okay. Now I composed this whole rant in my head about the limits of what you can accomplish vis-a-vis a "team style" within the hamstrung-academy and salary-capped confines of MLS. I had this beautiful bit about attacking beauty being in the eye of the beholder and what Fred's hemorrhaging of possession and Tommy's jumping in his bunker with a one-goal lead in the first half had to do with attractive, attacking soccer. Then I leapt onto the inability of our players to either pressure the ball (in order to get the damn thing back!) or move off of it (to get into position not only to receive the ball, but to be in a position that might actually threaten a defense and pull it out of shape, thus allowing further movement/passing through the gaps...), before wrapping it all up with the lambasting of a clearly delusional man who hasn't been watching the product on the field for the past two seasons and seems to be living in a house built of shadow-stadiums and past glories, arms wrapped jealously around a pile of old trophies.

But instead of all that, I'll go with...

Seriously? Part II

Seriously?

D.C. United has engaged in serious talks with a Virginia jurisdiction about a new stadium, club president Kevin Payne told the Insider. He declined to identify the city or county but said -- no surprise -- that the stadium site would be outside the Capital Beltway.

Ignoring the ridiculous nature of the continued cloak-and-dagger nonsense with the rumors and innuendo and shadow-chasing...My current commute is already almost three hours from my mountain hideaway in central PA. Virginia? Ugh. By contrast, I can make it to Chester in about an hour and a half. Too bad United will only have one away game there each year...

Seriously?

Seriously?

"We have to determine whether we believe, for the immediate long term, if Tommy is the guy to lead the team," Payne said. "We don't go into this with our minds made up. We want to almost treat it like a blank slate."

Ignoring the ass-hattery implied by "immediate long term"...why does Tommy get a blank slate? He's had three years at the helm, we've had no significant development of young players under his regime, he's become more inclined to jump in his bunker at the drop of a hat, is making increasingly erratic decisions with regards to substitutions and team selection, can't seem to get his players to either apply pressure or move off the damn ball, has failed more often than not in high-stakes games (where the players often appeared unmotivated and confused), and we're supposed to give him a blank freakin' slate? Unbelievable!

Wait! He's not done...

As for the status of Kasper, who has been in a player personnel role since 2002, Payne said: "We're very pleased with Dave. We think Dave is the best in the league at his job."

Hmmm. I'll grant him Wallace, Jakovic, and Pontius, all tremendous acquisitions this year. I'll even give him the benefit of the doubt on Vaughn, James, and probably even Szetela, who all have the potential to be long-term contributors to this team, assuming we can get a coach who understands how to construct a solid defense and not kill the confidence of his players. But that ignores...last year's Sudamericano cavalcade, Zach Wells, Fred on 200k+, the return of a past-it Gomez, Avery freakin' John!?!, various USL2 desperation scrambles, giving Emilio DP dollars and then keeping him past his sell-by date, wasting a first-round pick reacquiring Iron Rod Dyachenko, wasted draft after wasted draft after wasted draft, etcetera ad nauseam.

"With our past and the expectations, it's very disappointing the way things ended this year," Kasper said. "You have to ask yourself: 'Why?' And that's a big part of our evaluating process."

Head on down to the dollar store and pick up a cheap mirror. Take a look. Pass it to Tommy. Then pass it to Kevin.

Problem solved.

You're welcome.

Post Match Wrap | United vs. 'Zards

Partido dos in this little experiment, bringing together the loose strands...

DC United 2:2 Kansas City Wizards
CommunityAmerica Ballpark
KC: Kamara (30'), Lopez (PK, 90+')
DC: Moreno (PK, 67'), James (82')

Your Friendly Neighborhood United Bloggers...

BLCKDGRD: "One last Soehn bashing: After doghousing Szetela since Kevin Payne wasted a player allocation on him, Soehn starts Szetela over Benny in the most crucial game of the year, GUARANTEEING at least one substitute. Yes, James headed in the second goal, but he headed it in WHEN HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON THE FIELD because he was playing on one leg and Soehn didn't have a substitute in his pocket. The one fracking time this season Soehn NEEDED to bunker and bring in an extra defender HE COULDN'T, and in the most important five minutes of the season United essentially played with only two defenders, which led to Fred's handball on a poor clearance off a corner."

DCUMD: "When the final whistle blew, it didn't feel real. And you could see that on the players' faces as well. It was as if they were each asking themselves: 'How did we get here?' How did we take a team with this much talent, and drop so far so fast? You'd be hard pressed to find somebody who would argue that the 2009 DC United team was not better than the 2008 DC United team, yet they were in the same exact position at the conclusion of the season. One point out of the playoffs. Was that because of mismanagement? Poor coaching? Lack of production? Lack of effort? Officiating? Injuries?"

Kick This!: "United had some good moments in the first half, and two near goals courtesy of James and Gomez. Nevertheless, KC seemed better at applying pressure and being quicker to the ball. And there's an intangible thing, this playing-like-a-team thing with players that know each other and can anticipate where their teammates are going to be. This thing that KC had and United, come the final match, did not."

Yours Truly: "Go ahead. Admit it. You saw that coming didn't you? I mean, I wasn't prepared for Julius James to limp his way to late almost-glory in a target man role only to have his effort negated by a stoppage time PK (Fred giveth PK's, and Fred taketh them away). But based upon everything leading up to that point, this one felt pretty much exactly like last year in Columbus, didn't it? Last game of the season. Needing a result. Playing reasonably well. Pinging the post a couple of times. Season over."


The Fourth Estate...

Tenorio (WaPo): "The result not only left D.C. out of the postseason for the second consecutive season but also likely will result in wholesale changes this offseason, and could spell the end for United Coach Tom Soehn. [...] Soehn may not be the only casualty this offseason, however, as several highly-paid veterans might also not be back in a United uniform next season."

Kitchen (MLSNet.com): "Needing a win to keep their MLS Cup Playoffs chance alive, D.C. United allowed a Claudio Lopez penalty kick in second-half stoppage time to force a 2-2 draw in front of 10,385 fans at CommunityAmerica Ballpark."

In Match Tweets of the Night...

@mshund (that's me!): "James attempts the not-often-used 'decapitation cross.' Wallace fails to get in the way..."

@joebob991: "This result so far is my fault. I was only wearing my jersey and hat. I have since put on my scarf to boost the level of play."

@Rizzz: "#FireSoehn#FireSoehn#FireSoehn#FireSoehn#FireSoehn..."

@NattyBo: "I fucking hate soccer. See y'all next season."


Looking Forward...

Not terribly much to look forward to is there? The season is over in all respects. We fought on three fronts this year and managed to to fall at the last hurdle in each, though to be fair, we were stumbling through large portions of the Champions' League and the MLS season.

Now the reckoning approaches.

Chang promised accountability for results at the end of last season. Those results haven't come. So when do the heads begin to roll? Soehn? Emilio? Fred? Strength and conditioning coaches? Kasper? Is Payne untouchable?

Such Heights...and Such Depths | a DC United Match Reaction

Go ahead. Admit it. You saw that coming didn't you? I mean, I wasn't prepared for Julius James to limp his way to late almost-glory in a target man role only to have his effort negated by a stoppage time PK (Fred giveth PK's, and Fred taketh them away). But based upon everything leading up to that point, this one felt pretty much exactly like last year in Columbus, didn't it? Last game of the season. Needing a result. Playing reasonably well. Pinging the post a couple of times. Season over.

Which United's season pretty much is at this point unless Dallas and Seattle tie and New England loses. Not out of the realm of possibility, I'll admit...

Talking points (as I nervously watch Seattle v. Dallas in the background)...

* Can't fault the effort. Going into the second half down a goal, I thought we'd struggle to find an equalizer and get hit on the counter while we pushed forward. Instead, we almost immediately fashioned the chance that should have led to said equalizer, and proceeded to control most of the half, finally getting our reward from the spot. And you'd have been forgiven for thinking we were pretty much going to limp to a draw when Soehn's masterful substitutions left us with a half-lame Julius James playing target man. But James donned his Superman cape and put us minutes from the playoffs, only for United to succumb to one scramble in the box too many.

(Crap. Atiba freakin' Harris just belted one past Keller from 25'. Now I have to pull for the damn Sounders to equalize. Screw you, Soccer Gods!)

* Missed Opportunities. It's the story of the season writ large. Gomez breaks clear in the box and...drags his shot wide. James leaps for a corner and...nods it onto the post. Olsen spears the bouncing ball and...finds the one spot on frame that Hartman could stick a hand across. Wallace snatches at a chance on the edge of the box, managing to keep it down (for once) and...rockets it off the inside of the post. Inches. The Gomez chance went a couple of feet wide. But a couple of inches on any of those other three? And lets not forget the worst three missed opportunities of the season...

September 12th, Home to Seattle, lost 2-1
September 27th, Home to San Jose, lost 2-1
October 3rd, Home to Chivas, lost 2-0

Three home games in a row with our playoff lives on the line, and we dropped them all. A result in any of those games and we're home and dry at this point. Here's hoping that, in the final reckoning, even if we somehow scrape our way into the playoffs, that Tommy pays for those losses. Speaking of Señor Soehn...

* Question for Tommy #1. So what's the deal with acquiring Szetela in the summer, sticking him in the doghouse for a few months, only allowing him limited minutes in a less-preferred wide midfield role, and then handing him two consecutive starts, in the middle of the park no less, in do-or-die games for all the marbles in two competitions in a week? What the hell was that? Think Szetela might have been a more useful option when the midfield injury/suspension crisis hit in the midst of our season spiraling out of control last month? Instead, you work to kill his confidence and match sharpness before handing him starts in two must-win games. Yeah, that makes sense...

* Question for Tommy #2. Yeah, so I get that you were forced into the Gomez sub by injury. And I can understand wanting to have Olsen on in the second half as the spiritual heart of the team (though I wonder if maybe putting him on for Emilio, who was once again clearly useless, and putting Moreno up top with Szetela and Olsen pushed higher and Simms sitting deep in a central midfield troika might have done a tastier trick...heck, maybe Olsen should have been the sub for Gomez...). But making your third and final sub with half an hour to go? Go ahead and play the "desperate times, desperate measures" card, but I, for one, am less than impressed.

* Question for Tommy #3. And this one should probably be addressed to some of the senior playing staff as well...So why were we continuing to attack when we're up a goal with 10 minutes to go, knowing a win would have almost sealed our playoff spot? Note that I'd normally applaud trying to get another goal rather than being cynical, but...there is a time and a place for cynicism. 10 minutes to go with two guys struggling with bum hamstrings and a win pretty much punching your post-season tickets is one of those times. Instead we saw a lot of quick, direct, 50-50 balls. Bodies getting forward. Even Moreno and Olsen, who should know better, weren't looking to play possession. Was there any guidance from the sidelines, or did the players just get carried away with having grabbed an unlikely lead? Were they trying to pad the goal difference "just in case"?


Quick Hits...

* No change of pace. Our attack has one gear, and it's not a high one. How many times did Pontius chug onto hopeful balls in the late going with no support in sight?

* Why does every team we face, even the crap-tastic, miles-out-of-the-playoffs Wizards seem to have better off-the-ball movement than us? The game is pass and move, not pass and stand around waiting for the guy with the ball to pull something out of his ass.

* At least Soehn wore a tie for his funeral.

* At least we're not TFC (5-0? To the Red Bulls? Seriously?)...though they probably have a future in their burg, whereas United...


At this point, Dallas just went to half-time up 1-0 on Seattle. RSL put the Rapids down by a 3-0 count, putting both RSL and the Rapids in a tie on 40 points with United. If the Dallas result stands, they'd be in and RSL (by my hasty calculations) would nip DC and Colorado on goal difference. And that doesn't even factor in whatever New England can do tomorrow. So I'll be staying up late to see if the Sounders can do us a solid by getting a draw (which puts us in the head-to-head driver's seat by virtue of our results versus Dallas).

But then, hoping as I am for United somehow to live to fight another day, I have to wonder...If we somehow sneak into the post-season, does that keep the front office heads from rolling? Tommy's not the only one to blame, though he should shoulder his fair share.

I'd love to have at least a couple more match reactions to do before I hit my own "off-season," but I'm afraid the post-season "autopsy" series is more likely to be on my to-do list come Monday morning.

Vam-ugh United!?!
(been a while since I broke out that old chestnut)

Worst Thursday Ever?

Hyperbole to be sure, but still...ouch!

You'd be forgiven for being miserable if you were a USA and DC United fan poking about in assorted RSS streams and illegal internet feeds yesterday. To recap...


Snatched Away!

In simultaneous games, United had both their Champions' League advancement hopes dashed by Marathon and had to watch in horror as Eduardo Lillingston decided to live out his long-frustrated dream of representing the full Mexican national team by powering home a Blanco corner (against his own team!) to take United's playoff destiny out of its own hands...



Prep the Depth Chart!

The timetable for Gooch's recovery is out. Six months! That gives him what, a month of reserve games and a couple of internationals to be ready for the big dance next summer? Hmmm. Hey Jay DeMerit. Get well soon, buddy. And Chad Marshall? Your audition begins now. Clarence Goodson, you want a shot as well? Has anybody seen Cory Gibbs? I could swear we dropped him in the mountains somewhere.

Other MLS options? Houston conversion project Geoff Cameron might get the call from Bob again for a look-see going forward. And what about Omar Gonzalez? Young, yes, but also fills the "monster back" size requirements. I wonder if he'll get a look in the Annual Scandanavian Scrub Challenge Camp in January.


I suppose you could also throw in Timmy picking five out of his net to add to the misery, but that's just piling on.

(Now watch me "Ives" this thing)

What do you think? Frustrated that DC crashed out of the Champions' League group stage for the second year running and looks likely to miss out on the playoffs yet again? Worried that none of the options in central defense for the US seem to be terribly appetizing? Wondering if T-Ho thinks he's still tending nets in the Meadowlands?

Ugh.

FBF Glossary: The Parity Police

The world game is rife with leagues dominated by a handful of clubs. The Prem takes turns passing the baton between the Big 4. La Liga often boils down to a two-horse race. The Bundesliga title race is only interesting when Bayern are faltering. Juve and the Milans face only limited competition from the Rome sides. And that's not even factoring in all of the second and third tier leagues that regularly send the same sides to be eliminated in continental qualification matches.

But MLS? Oh, MLS has no pre-ordained aristocracy. Oh, DC United may have pretensions based upon their trophy haul in the early days, but hell, they may not even exist in a few years if they can't find a permanent home.

No, MLS instead operates under the jackbooted heel of the Parity Police, the nebulous karmic energy fashioned from joint ownership, salary caps, the SuperDraft, and continued expansion (replete with corresponding expansion drafts), all of which conspire to keep any one team from having any sort of lasting dominance. What we're left with is summed up by the state of the league heading into the final week of the 2009 regular season.

Twelve of the fifteen teams still alive for playoff spots. Six of those twelve sit within three points of each other in and around the fringes of the playoffs. The Western Conference leader board boasts three teams tied for the league and a fourth just one point back. The second-placed team in the league only boasts a +3 goal difference. Three teams with realistic playoff aspirations have negative goal differences. Even the strongest team in the league (Columbus) won't win more than half of its games this year. In fact, they'll draw at least a third of their matches. Heck, of the sides currently in playoff positions, only Chivas USA hasn't drawn right around a third of their games.

Those, my friends, are the skull-bashings, finger-fracturings, and determined truncheon-work of MLS's lovely Parity Police in action...

Baby Steps | a DC United Match Reaction

So, that was a better result than we probably could have expected in light of our sorry history south of the 2-0 crossing. And you could probably have doubled the surprise given the starting lineup that the oh-so-nattily-dressed Tommy Soehn ran out there. I don't think anybody realistically expected us to fly home with three points and qualification from the group stage in the bag. Instead, a 1-1 draw and a highlight-reel goal for Chris Pontius give us a fighting chance to advance (Aarggh! Why can't CONCACAF play these final matches at the same time?!?). Sure we played pretty terribly, particularly in midfield, and have no concept of moving off the ball once we've passed it, making our plodding attack even more glacial, but...wait, I'm suppose to be staying happy about this result, aren't I?

Talking points?

* Party Bomb! The water cooler talk tomorrow will doubtless be about Pontius' rocket volley from 25' to open the scoring. I think there can be little doubt that Pontius' long term future is on the front line. His finishing as a rookie hasn't been as sure as you'd like, and his versatility works against him getting consistent minutes up top since he's one of the better flank options as well, but I'd be building my attack around him if I were in a position to do so. The big problem? We'll be lucky if he's still on these shores in two years.

* Jak at the Back. Jakovic just continues to impress me. His ability to anticipate the play and snuff out passing lanes is almost as much fun for a defender to watch as his calm on the ball, connect-the-dots cool possession passing, and those little feints and wiggles that leave the forwards scrambling for their jocks. Of course, he does have a tendency to take the calm just a touch too far at the moment, but if Pontius is the rock to build your attack around, Jakovic has to be the corresponding anchor for the defense. Sadly, I think he's also not long for MLS...I wonder if anybody noticed the cover he was providing for the gassed Vaughn when he subbed on? Wonder if that might have been helpful a few minutes earlier?

* The Designated Pacer. Yes, yes. I know all about the evils of altitude. But isn't Emilio our DP? Our figurehead? Our designated poacher supreme? Why was he trotting about in the middle third in the closing stages? I can understand doing so when we're defending, but when we got the ball back and broke, the entire team just shot past him, leaving him strolling around behind the attack. Shouldn't he be busting his ass to get in the box? And what had he done in the rest of the game? I know he thrives on service, and that midfield looked singularly incapable of providing it, but excuse me for wanting a little more from a supposedly marquee player. Too often he's been missing in action this year.

* The Case for Cronin. As in: it just got stronger. No, he wasn't without fault. In fact, he had a couple of real "whoa!" moments, but the good far outweighed the bad. He was quick to come for balls, made the stops he needed to make, and generally looked in command. Now we have two questions to pose to the FO. (1) Can you pony up a transfer fee? (2) Can you land a proper left back and possibly a James-alternative in the middle to complement Namoff and Jakovic next year?

* The Wrong Flank. I was worried about the wrong one the whole time apparently. In the first half, I was pretty certain that we'd see that little Toluca winger blowing by Avery John with frightening regularity. By contrast, Vaughn looked like he had his side locked up pretty well. But as the second half wore on, Vaughn started getting tested and toasted, eventually conceding the penalty that gave Toluca the draw. I've generally been impressed by how well Vaughn has filled in for the irreplaceable Namoff, but I think he got bit by the altitude bug here.
Considering how long he's been on the shelf, I think that's not shocking.


Quick hits...

* If everyone knows Boyzzz can't play a lick of flank defense, why does Tommy play him there in a game where you know he's going to need to defend? Wait, this is one of those existential Zen questions, right?

* Color me shocked that we didn't see anybody walk for red. That said, the ref was horribly inconsistent (par for the CONCACAF course, right?), though the linesmen did spare our defense a few blushes as they got trigger-happy with the flags.

* I wasn't terribly impressed by Szetela, though the early yellow probably dulled his play. That said, most of the midfield was similarly awful. Did Boyzzz or DiRaimondo complete a pass over three yards? I've got to guess that DiRaimondo never would have seen the field if Jacobson hadn't suffered the Bum Hammy Hammer.

* Can somebody get Soehn a new wardrobe?

* Hey, two matches running where Tommy didn't yank somebody in the first half. Still can't resist the halftime sub though...


There has to be some perspective here. Even if it wasn't the result we needed or a fantastic display of possession soccer, this was a fantastic result for DC United. I could give a rat's ass (several in fact) if Toluca were indeed fielding a less than full strength lineup. What would you call ours? We started John freakin' DiRaimondo, for crap's sake!

Fact is, Toluca play at altitude, sit atop the Mexican league, and we drew in their house. We, who sit 10th in a 15 team league. And they needed a penalty to do it after we scored a tremendous goal from open play. That's cause for a little celebration, isn't it? Sure, we were outplayed for most of the match, but they weren't so terribly dangerous that our goal was under constant threat, was it? If nothing else, we put a marker out there that Marathon must exceed if they want to advance. Baby steps.

Now we need to match this effort in the significantly less demanding environs of KC's little ballpark against another team with little to play for except saving face.

Vamos United!

MLS Table Talk | Scenario Breakdown

Rather than our normal rundown of points-per-game and goal scoring averages, let's start the graceful transition from "Table Talk" to "Playoff Prattle" by outlining the current scenarios for the various clubs...

Columbus Crew vs. Revolution, 5PM Sunday

• They've already sewn up first seed in the East and will know what they need to do to clinch the Supporters' Shield before kickoff, possibly as early as Thursday (should Chivas lose Thursday). Only Chivas can possibly catch them, and the Goats need to win both games (or mount a huge charge on goal difference with a win and a draw--they're tied head-to-head).
  

LA Galaxy vs. Quakes, 10:30PM Saturday

• LA hold all the tiebreakers with Chivas and Houston, so a win guarantees them at least second in the West and they'll grab the first spot if Chivas don't get at least a win and a draw this week. A loss or draw could see them potentially finish as low as fourth in the West. How 'bout them Parity apples?

Dynamo @Chivas, 3PM Sunday

• The Dynamo need a Galaxy loss or draw to open the door for a possible Western crown, and, by virtue of the tie-breaker, will beat out Chivas with a win, no matter what the Goats do on Thursday with their game in hand. A draw or loss could dump them as far as fourth seed in the West.

Chivas @Fire, 8PM Thursday & vs. Dynamo, 3PM Sunday

• Chivas are the only side that can still challenge the Crew for the Supporter's Shield, but (due to tie-breakers) need to win out in combination with the Crew failing to win.
• Despite LA and the Dynamo holding the head-to-head tie-breakers against Chivas, the Goats have a game in hand. Any sort of result against the Fire on Thursday means they control their own destiny when it comes to the conference crown. Dropping points in both matches could see them finish as low as fourth in the West.

Sounders vs. FC Dallas, 10:30PM Saturday

• They've already qualified as at least the fourth seed in the West, but could still win the conference if they win and other results fall in line. Bear in mind that Chivas and the Dynamo hold head-to-head tiebreakers against the Sounders, though goal difference would see them ahead of the Galaxy if they end up tied on points.
  

Fire vs. Chivas, 8PM Thursday

• The Fire aren't quite across the line yet, and the final weekend could be a really nervous one if they fail to pick up at least a point against Chivas. With a point, they would be the number two seed in the East. If they lose, they still hold tie-breaker advantages against everybody in the East who could unseat them save United. A Fire loss, combined with the Rapids, United, and FC Dallas winning, could still see them eliminated from playoff contention.

Rapids @RSL, 9PM Saturday

• Win and they're in. Draw and lose, and they're dependent upon other results and various tie-breaker scenarios. Strangely, the head-to-head tiebreaker is a wash with all four of the teams one point behind them, meaning their superior goal difference will probably be enough to see them through against any of them save possibly Dallas. Likewise, a loss to RSL would put them level on points and head-to-head, but RSL would need to win by at least two to win out on goal difference.

Toronto FC @NYRB, 7:30PM Saturday

• If they win, they'll be in unless Dallas and the Rapids also win, and the Revs and United both lose or draw (Fire hold the head-to-head against TFC regardless, while TFC holds head to head against the Revs and United, but not Dallas). A loss or draw and they might still be in, but they'll need some significant stars to align.

Revolution @Crew, 5PM Sunday

• They Revs could go into this game against a Crew side that's already won the Supporters' Shield and is looking to rest and protect players. Likewise, they could go into this game knowing that they can't make the playoffs if results earlier in the weekend are unkind. They hold the head-to-head tiebreaker vs. United, but head-to-head or goal difference favors all of the other contenders. It's probably going to come down to a needing a win, and even that might not be enough. One thing is for certain: a loss puts them out.
  

DC United @KC, 8:30PM Saturday

• If the Fire lose, a United win could still see them finish second in the conference by virtue of head-to-head (if other results go their way). Unfortunately, the only other team in contention that they hold an advantage over is Dallas, so even a win doesn't guarantee post-season play. They'll still need slip-ups elsewhere. A loss and they're done, regardless of what else happens.
  

FC Dallas @Seattle, 10:30PM Saturday

• Head-to-head and goal difference will come to their aid against most of their direct competitors save DC United, meaning a win will probably see them cap a remarkable run to the post-season (unless almost all of their competitors win as well!). A draw would require some major mojo to get them in, while a loss would keep them out.

RSL vs. Rapids, 9PM Saturday

• RSL must beat the Rapids to have any chance, and they'll need to beat them by at least two clear goals in order to surpass them on the table. Even then, they'll need help from elsewhere, though they will hold tie-breakers (either head-to-head or goal difference) against everybody else who could end up tied with them. If they lose or draw, they're done, though a one-goal win might be enough if none of the teams on 39 points win.

KC, Quakes, Red Bulls

• All are done, and all are fixed in their positions...KC and NYRB finish 6 and 7 in the East and the Quakes are bottom of the West.

At least that's what my tired brain is telling me...

Double the McTavish

Check it out, the United roster is so barebones in midfield for the CONCACAF Champions' League match with Toluca tonight that the FO cloned McTavish! (via the Goffmeister)...

The DCU roster:
Goalkeepers: Steve Cronin, Milos Kocic.
Defenders: Dejan Jakovic, Julius James, Avery John, Lawson Vaughn, David Habarugira.
Midfielders: Christian Gomez, Rodney Wallace, Fred, Devon McTavish, Devon McTavish, Tiyi Shipalane, Danny Szetela, John DiRaimondo.
Forwards: Luciano Emilio, Thabiso Khumalo, Chris Pontius.

And now the giant, looming question...does Szetela get the nod in the middle?

MLS Dogpile | Prepare the Electric Truncheons!

What a glorious tangle we've got, eh MLS HQ gargoyles? At this point, would you put it past any of the teams still in playoff contention (oh hell, let's throw in everybody but the Red Bulls) to beat any of the others? The Parity Police are slapping their electric truncheons in their gloved hands with cruel smiles as they wait for what should be an almighty scramble across the finish line and a wide-open playoff field. With that unpredictability and finely poised balance of power in mind, let's hit the Dogpile, shall we?

The Crew got stung by a desperate DC this week, but managed to control most of the game despite a monsoon and some missing pieces to their starting puzzle. Their recent form is slipping, but they're also getting a chance to rest and recuperate their big guns before the playoffs arrive. If there is one side that looks a favorite in the playoffs, it's got to be the defending champs.

In behind them is the trio chasing the Western crown. Chivas don't seem to be beating anybody difficult and don't look terribly impressive on paper, but they aren't losing games either. This, more than anything else, is what gives them the edge over their rivals on the Pile. The Galaxy seem to be hitting a bit of a roller-coaster at the moment, which is always dangerous heading into a two-game playoff series, but I think the Bruce will have them focused. Likewise for the Dynamo, who are backing into the post-season somewhat, but it looks to me like Kinnear might be able to crank it up a gear when push comes to shove.

Seattle are an interesting package. They're the only other team outside the top four that has booked their passage, are the second hottest team (in terms of results) in the league, and even have an outside chance at nipping the Western crown in the last week. And they're an expansion side to boot! Full credit to Sigi, who has not only nursed them past a bout of Expansion Fever, but seems to have figured out how to start getting points on the road, something they'll need when the playoffs hit.

And now the snarl.

FC Dallas are the hottest team in the league and by rights should probably be grabbing a playoff spot, where nobody will be happy about facing them. Sadly, their early season was so poor that they may come up just short in the end. Chicago, on the other hand, have the opposite problem. After a relatively strong start, they seem to be coasting on fumes and have forgotten how to win, but will probably limp over the line. TFC are putting up a game battle for their first-ever post-season bid and have their destiny in their hands. The good news? They play the Red Bulls to clinch. The bad news? They're on the road.

DC United found life in their slow, aging bones with a huge win over a Columbus side with one eye on the Champions' League and the other on keeping everybody healthy and rested going into the post-season. Were it not for the three home losses that preceded the win, they'd be sitting in a comfortable playoff spot at the moment. And the Revs? They've likewise spoiled a massive opportunity by failing to take advantage of games in hand, leaving them with the very real chance that they could already be eliminated by the time they take the field at Crew Stadium on Sunday.

RSL are the only remaining team alive in the hunt, but their chances hinge (if I'm wrapping my mind around the byzantine MLS tie-breaker rules correctly) on (1) beating Colorado by multiple goals (three would do the trick, two might) and (2) having most everybody else still in contention manage to lose. Like I said, alive, but only just.

KC lead the pack of also-rans, having been eliminated from the playoffs before they even kicked a ball last weekend. San Jose have long known that their number is up, but could scrape their way to third from the bottom with a win and a KC loss on the final weekend. And the Red Bulls? They've been looking forward to 2010 for months already.

Post-Match Wrap | United vs. Crew

Alright, seeing as how the lights seem to be out over at the usual post-match sorting and collating station, what say we do a little experiment to try and gather the assorted strands of pixelated wool, shall we?


Your Friendly Neighborhood United Bloggers...

BLCKDGRD..."United won, but Columbus is the better team with the better future. They were the better team last night, playing their B-Squad. If United does make the playoffs, it's likely they'll draw Columbus, and I'll be there to watch that full-strength Columbus squad dismantle United." (Sad but true...)

DCUMD..."Even though the team was playing in a 3-5-2 to specifically take advantage of his talents, Christian Gomez was a complete non-factor in this match. [...] It sure felt like our team in 2009 was better than our team in 2008, yet we are somehow right back in the same spot as last year - needing a win in the last week to continue playing." (So who takes the blame, and does the ownership hold them accountable?)

Kick This!..."From the opening whistle Columbus looked quicker and more purposeful. They would continue to be more succesful in winning and keeping the ball as the match wore on. [...] To the extent you could call walking the ball up the middle of the field and then resorting to square and back passes "offense," United played its slow build up game. Thus, in addition to reverting formations, United had retreated from the wide and penetrating patterns of play it had been developing recently." (Sigh...couldn't agree more)

Yours Truly..."To me, the Crew looked like they were an artist with a paint by numbers set. Sure, they weren't making brilliant art, but they were consistently making art, in the form of keeping the ball in our end, moving off each other with confidence that the ball would be on the other end of the movement, and generally getting the ball into dangerous areas to fashion chances. United? They were up in their loft in a black turtleneck and beret, smoking a clove and waiting...always waiting for inspiration to strike like a bolt from the blue. And it did. Once. Hard to consistently take that approach and be a winner though..."


The Fourth Estate...

Goff (WaPo)..."Knowing a loss would extinguish United's chances, Soehn abandoned the four-man back line and committed an extra player into midfield. United attacked well in the first half, producing quality opportunities, but failed to generate a shot or corner kick after intermission." (Ouch!)

Boehm (MLSNet.com)..."The visitors enjoyed more of the ball and created more attacking danger for most of the evening. But United made the most of one of the game's only bright spots [...] Earlier in the week United coach Tom Soehn had spoken of the Crew's tendency to sit in on the road, and his starting lineup reflected an urgency to take the game to the visitors." (Hahahahahahahaha...oh how we laugh at Tommy Tactics!)


The Unwashed Masses...

Taking the temperature of the BigSoccer post-match thread (usually a dangerous and divisive operation), the consensus seems to be...

• Cronin is the second coming
  
• Boyzzz can't defend for crap
• We got damned lucky
• Our glacial attack prefers back and sideways to forward
• The fighting spirit we've been missing seemed to be back
  

In Match Tweet of the Night...

@cboehm: #DCU is winning...it's the 43rd minute and Tom Soehn hasn't made a substitution...what the h*ll is going on here?!!?!!?


Looking Forward...

1. On the strength of one game, can Cronin suddenly be vaulted to front-runner status for the starting keeper job next year? And will the FO pay to land him?
2. KC's tiny ballpark might be the only pitch in the league where we can play three at the back and not have to worry terribly about width. That said, we won't hugely benefit from five in midfield in the cramped conditions either, and any advantage of having a dedicated playmaker will probably be irrelevant in the compressed space.
3. Miraculously (and with a little help from the men with whistles), we still have a shot at grabbing the #2 spot in the East. Holy crap, imagine if we'd actually won just one of these last three home matches!
4. The playoff permutations are mind-numbing.
   

Feel free to fill in the blank spaces in the comments, I just thought I'd try this format on for size...does it make my ass look big? ;-)

Whistleman Failure of the Week

Bet Chris Rolfe can't wait to get out of this dump...

Not Dead Yet | a DC United Match Reaction

There was a spell there in the second half where I couldn't see us surviving the blitz. United seemed completely unable to hold the ball or even advance into opposition territory. Instead, we suffered wave after yellow wave, forced back into our own box, waiting for the inevitable to kick us in the nether regions. But a strange thing happened on a night when you'd expect a wet ball to do some funny stuff on the slick turf...

It never ended up in United's net.

Talking points?

* Artistic expression. I'm going to draw a rather tortured analogy that doesn't quite fit in all respects, but bear with me. To me, the Crew looked like they were an artist with a paint by numbers set. Sure, they weren't making brilliant art, but they were consistently making art, in the form of keeping the ball in our end, moving off each other with confidence that the ball would be on the other end of the movement, and generally getting the ball into dangerous areas to fashion chances. United? They were up in their loft in a black turtleneck and beret, smoking a clove and waiting...always waiting for inspiration to strike like a bolt from the blue. And it did. Once. Hard to consistently take that approach and be a winner though...

* Keeper #4. First, we have to say that Tommy's obviously been justified for his inclusion of Cronin. The biggest difference between Cronin and Wicks/Kocic? He came off his line quickly and with confidence, both to punch and to intercept balls in behind the defense. Sort of like Crayton used to do...you know, without being quite so scary in doing it. In fact, I almost didn't know what to do with a United keeper that wasn't constantly making questionable decisions and/or mishandling the ball. I do wonder what this does to Kocic's confidence though. When Wicks went down, he must have thought, here's my chance to prove myself. Couple of games later, he's back rooted to the bench. More Soehn Man Management Magic?

* Tommy's Choice. I guess we've got to give him props for getting the critical win, but was anybody really satisfied with how the 3-5-2 played? We didn't control possession, which numbers in midfield should have given us. We were under constant threat on the flanks. We produced little of our own in the wide areas. Pretty much everything that was wrong before is still wrong. But somehow the result stood. Even in the wake of the Garey substitution where I was screaming at Tommy to get four at the back because Garey was going to play right up next to Big Bird. Sure enough, within seconds, they've got three guys queueing up against two defenders as a ball floats into the box.

And then I thought he saw the problem and made the change when Moreno came on for Gomez. Surely, I thought, Moreno goes up top, Khumalo to right mid, and Vaughn to right back. But no! Instead, we persist with the 3-5-2, coming under increasing pressure, unable to even find the Moreno-shaped safety valve to gain some possession. Sadly, when we went to four at the back, we looked even more completely disorganized, just waiting for the Crew to pick their way through. The fact that we always managed to get a body in the way of the final shot is small comfort in the face of a defense that often doesn't seem to know what it's doing. And that is the major reason Tommy still needs to go, regardless of what sort of post-season gold he may shockingly pull from his derrière.

* Priority #1. This offseason, we need a speed/athleticism transfusion in attack. Though the rain played to our advantage in mitigating the Crew's speed advantage, they were still noticeably more dynamic than we were. That's a huge problem when it comes to 50-50 balls, aerial battles, and flat-out foot races. And it looms over our slower than slow offense at all times. Khumalo showed in spurts, but we need more able bodies in constant motion to start to really worry defenses.


Quick hits?

* Szetela pretty much justified his regular exclusion. Passes to the opposition are one thing, considering he doesn't have many matches under his belt. But lightweight challenges for 50-50 balls when your team is fighting for its post-season life? Unforgivable.

* How often did we pass our way around a Crew defender (or defenders)--one-two and go--leaving them with mouths agape? Oh, I'm sorry, that was the guys in yellow doing that to us. Pass and move. Pass and move. It's not a hard concept, so why can't Tommy instill it?

* In a shocking turn of events, Tommy made it to halftime without making a substitution. Obviously the trigger finger was getting mighty itchy, thus the switch at halftime.

* Good for Emilio getting the goal. He certainly seemed excited about it. It's just too bad that he's a one-dimensional predator, and a one-dimensional player in general, who contributes little else to the team as a whole.


There's one aspect of Comcast's broadcast that really underlined what the last couple of months have been like for United--and for United fans. We were constantly being reminded by Johnson and by little graphics that United couldn't be eliminated with a loss tonight. Talk about setting the bar low..."uh, we're probably gonna drop this one, but that's okay, cause we'll still be able to advance with some sort of miracle combination of results and all the stars aligning in our favor next week." How about, "with a win, United goes level on points for the final playoff spot"?

But can you really blame them for that attitude? I can't. I'm living it. But despite all of the naysaying, the terrible run of results that saw us slip from a comfortable perch, the glacial attack, the coach who's lost his grip on the reins, the injuries, the 800 lb stadium gorilla in the corner, and the lingering sense that it's all going to come to naught in the end...we're not dead yet.

Vamos United!

Radio Free Honduras

Awesome. I can't imagine an American soccer broadcaster approaching even one-tenth of that joy and enthusiasm. Maybe Limarzi on amphetamines?

Three P's

• Perspective
• Patella tendon
• Pavon redeemed?
  

Number 9, Number 9, Number 9... | a USA Match Reaction

I don't know about you, but going into this match, I pretty much thought we'd come out with a draw given all the circumstances surrounding the match. Costa Rica were desperate for a win. We were already through. You knew everybody in a white shirt was going to be trying just that extra little bit harder for Charlie, leaving the inevitable gaps at the back from rash defending, chances blazed over the bar from over-eager forwards, and cards dished out for headstrong challenges. That said, I couldn't see us losing to a nervy Costa Rica at home.

But I never expected a draw like that!

Talking points, my friends...

* Laking the lethal touch. I know I'll be reading a lot of crap tomorrow about how we didn't start well, and the Ticos won the first half. That's a steaming pile of...listen, they did play better than I can remember them playing against us in our house in a while, but let's look at the chances. By my count, they had two great chances (converting one) and two decent chances (converting another--golazo by Ruiz, a little Dutch magic rubbing off on him?). By contrast, we had two great chances (welcome back, normal Conor Casey!, and why the hell doesn't Donovan ever finish like that when he's playing for LA in RFK?) and at least four decent ones. Soccer's a fickle game, so I can understand going in behind, but down by two? We should have buried at least one of those, if not more. And, loathe as I am to say this with the kid still in the hospital, but Davies isn't the answer to this particular dilemma. He's as wasteful as the rest of them despite all of his endeavor and danger. We need somebody lethal to bury chances. Somebody to complement...

* Jozy the beast. I know he was playing with a little extra fire in his belly, and that was understandable given the events of the last couple of days, but it wasn't just the intensity. His touch was sharper, his play more direct. He wanted to take on defenders and did so, often two or three at a time. And he was winning those battles! I seen him play well before, but I can't ever remember being that substantially impressed. If he takes that attitude back to Hull City, I don't see how even a manager as thick as Phil Brown can keep starting Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.

* Hero to zero. So obviously those 20 minutes in Honduras didn't change a thing, did they? Yes, Casey bundled home two precious goals that saw us through that night, but his 80 minutes tonight were what we've come to expect as classic Conor in a Nats shirt. Lots of standing around looking angry, trying to beat defenders for pace and coming up miles short, ballooning shots over the bar, losing aerial battles. The man's immobility wouldn't be so astonishing if he brought something else to the team, but the grand totality of his contribution seemed to be one little heel flick and missing probably the best chance of the match.

* Problems in the middle. Junior/Feilhaber didn't really work did it? There was space behind the forwards that one of them should have been exploiting, but Junior's usual dynamism was blunted by having to cover for Feilhaber's lack thereof. And Feilhaber seemed to want to float around in deeper spots looking for possession, but not so deep that it let Bradley bomb forward. Even when he was deeper, his passes were generally short or backwards. By contrast, when Torres got stuck in the same position, he started directing traffic, hands in the air, wanting the ball, grabbing possession and getting it forward into wide areas quickly. And where was Junior? In and around the box. Result? Junior gets a rebound goal. Sure, you could argue that Costa Rica packing things in let us do that, but I think the longer term solution is to go with an anchor playmaker, Pirlo-style, against lesser opposition, and a destroyer alongside Junior (Clark, or perhaps Jones if he ever gets healthy) otherwise.

* Curse of DC? United players have been dropping like flies as we approach crunch time in MLS, and if the tragedy involving Davies were the worst thing that happened to the national team during their stint in DC, that would be curse enough. But we've yet to see what Onyewu did to his knee in the later stages of the match. That could make an already looming problem worse. Gooch hasn't been at his best since being stuck on the bench at Milan, and the pattern continued tonight, most obviously when Ruiz burned him for Costa Rica's first. A potential spell on the shelf won't get him minutes, and might just take him out of the picture completely when signs seem to be pointing towards Milan doing the coach-swap dance in the near future.


Quick hits?

* Give Bornstein the #9. I'm only half kidding--at least he puts his chances on target. But how, how, how does a team up a man and defending for its World Cup life leave a guy unmarked on a corner?

* Put Rogers back in the oven, he's nowhere near done. Too slow of thought, too wasteful with chances and possession, too easy to body off the ball. The tools are there, but the seasoning isn't. Still love the fact that he's so two-footed, but he's one for the 2014 cycle.

* Need for speed. With Davies out in the long term, we need speed up top more than we need big bodies (Ching, Casey, Cooper). Some may call for Cunningham (what's with all the "C" forwards?). I'd like to see what Donovan paired with Altidore would look like.

* Holden has justified his place to me. I've never been that high on him, but I'll admit I was wrong.

* Cherundolo still brings an attacking ability to the right back spot that his other competitors can't.

* Torres needs more minutes.

* Did Donvan hitting that one free kick against Honduras doom us to his being the unquestioned taker for the foreseeable future? I hope Torres taking the corners was an indication that we might not, because Landon was laying out some real stinkers.


The scenes at the end of the match showed just how much this one meant to the team. Though it had no bearing on their passage to the finals, it was important both to win the qualifying tournament and to get a positive result on the back of a tragic couple of days. Now the winnowing process begins. I'd be pretty certain of my first 15 or so slots to fill at this point, though I expect Bob's number is closer to 20 (you know how he is with "his guys"). You obviously want to keep the core of the team that got you to the big dance. Now it becomes a matter of finding little bits and pieces to spackle over the weak points and complement the strengths.

Another Day in the Gloaming

I'm not going to touch the biggest story going except to pass on condolences and well-wishes to those involved. I do have thoughts where that leaves the national team, but it's too close, too soon to say anything just yet without seeming callous, neh? Instead, let's make the rounds of what else has caught my fancy today and maybe do a little smoke and mirrors distraction show...


Demo Day!

The Football Manager 2010 vanilla (read as: league-limited) demo has dropped. I've got my copy but won't be busting it out for a few hours yet (damn novel, always demanding my attention!). Go get yours...


Amalgamated Football Leagues Unite!

The North Atlantic League lives as the best of Scandanavia, Scotland, the Low Countries, and Portugal look to do a DIY Premiership. You can bet your bottom dollar that the assorted gargoyles and troglodytes of MLS, SUM, and probably some interested parties south of the 2-0 border are watching UEFA's reaction with keen interest. Why? Could SuperLiga be a Trojan horse?


Blogosphere Conquest!

Yours truly relates what little (and there is very little!) he knows about football footwear in an interview with Bryan over at Soccer Cleats 101. Check it out, and hang around his site to kick the tires a bit, won't you?


Speedy recovery, Charlie...

MLS Table Talk | Short Week Blues

Just a bit of shifting of the deck chairs on a notional Titanic this week as the limited slate of games sees a minor shift amongst the chasing pack. At this point, we can be pretty sure that everybody in the top six is pretty much in, and the Rapids, in seventh, would need to do some serious self-harm to keep themselves out of the post-season. That said, this is the Rapids we're talking about.

In more trouble are the Revs, who, despite having a two point cushion with two games to go, are suffering a rash of injuries and a woeful run of form that's seen them piss away their precious games in hand. But who might replace them? The obvious answer is Dallas. Winners of four of their last five, the Hoops have made a remarkable late season run, highlighted by their charge to the top of the scoring sweepstakes, and have the hottest boot in MLS in the form of Cunningham.

The other challengers are much less appetizing, TFC and DC United are plagued by poor defenses, RSL infected with inconsistency, and the 'Zards needing to be the proverbial snowball in the inferno. No such drama for the Quakes and Bulls, who've already mentally checked into the off-season vacation lounge.

Playoff scenarios?

The West has yet to be decided, but we can be pretty sure that the Crew and Fire will probably finish one-two in the East. Might the Revs tank so hard, and Dallas continue so en fuego that we have a post-season featuring six sides from the West and just two from the East? It's looking more and more likely, and who woulda thunk that as we all sharpened our pundit pencils in pre-season? As of now...

East

• Crew (E1) v. Rapids (W5) - the Rapids have dark horse writ large across Casey's bald dome and have the athleticism in attack to cause any defense troubles
• Fire (E2) v. Revs (E3) - the annual blood-feud is back!
  

West

• Galaxy (W1) v. Sounders (W4) - revenge of the Sigi or justification of boring, boring Arena-ball?
• Dynamo (W2) v. Chivas (W3) - pitchers' duel or bloodbath?
  

Thoughts?

Gloomy Day Roundup

The buzz of qualification is starting to wear off, and the overcast skies match my mood this morning. So with that cheery thought in mind, let's plunge into some of the stuff cluttering my desktop...


Major League Soccer

Clearly, Uncle Sepp's nasty transmissions are getting through to the Garb-father. After talking smack last week about how the worlds' leagues need to come more in line with MLS when it comes to financial structure, salary caps, et al, this week Garber is making noise about aligning the MLS schedule with the "international calendar." Garber does admit the issues that would present themselves given our lack of a "continental" climate, presenting roofed stadiums and the hardy MLS fan-base as potential solutions.

Quick question for you, Garb. Who exactly do you think are going to be the ones showing up for the below-freezing, foot of snow on the ground games? Allow me to posit that it won't be the family crowds you've been courting so heavily...

And while Garber was busy chastising the world about how to run a soccer/football business, it seems that some folks over at Wired have a solution for the mediocrity rife in the ownership of the real "major" leagues in the US. Get this, one of the magazine's 12 Shocking Ideas That Could Change the World, alongside such gems as emptying the prisons, legalizing assisted suicide, and embracing human cloning comes the Euro-snobs' lament: promotion/relegation.

And speaking of relegation...


DC United

Bad to worse, my friends. An already injury-addled United can add Tino to the pile of bodies being stacked up in the bowels of the decaying beast that is RFK. The Phoenix is going to need to embrace his moniker once again as he'll need to battle to even be fit for pre-season 2010. Ugh.

And what's the deal with United turning to Galaxy-reject, Portland-hero keepers? Lose your Wicks in the sofa cushions somewhere? Don't fret, we've got a nice Cronin lined up to fill that Wicks-shaped void in your life. Wonder what this does for Kocic's confidence?


Football Manager 2010

Considering United's woes, it's small wonder that I'm so looking forward to next month and the release of the latest iteration of the Football Manager franchise. What? You haven't pre-ordered your copyyet? The changes look pretty promising, with a stronger match engine, less obtuse tactics, a league/cup editor, and better backroom feedback, to name a few.

In fact, I'm thinking that, in addition to my annual off-season site revamp, I might do series of off-season narrative posts following my own struggles as United manager for the 2009 season in FM. Followed closely by putting the editor through its paces in reorganizing MLS. Promotion/relegation? Making MLS Cup a true league cup rather than a playoff? Increasing the importance of the CONCACAF Champions League and US Open Cup? Killing the SuperLiga? All these and more can be yours for under $40.


Hey look, the sun just came out from behind the clouds...

MLS Dogpile | Hot or Not?

With only four games on the docket this international week, you wouldn't expect much movement on the Pile. But it's an indication of just how tight things are that even four games, two involving the going-nowhere Quakes, would prompt some significant movement. Let's take a quick dash through how things are shaping up as we sidle up to the post-season bar.

After a momentary setback against the Sounders in a game they really should have gotten something from, the Crew are back in the saddle with the field arrayed beneath them. The Galaxy maintain their lofty status despite Chivas, the second-hottest team in the league, making a late push to get back to the top (imagine what might have been for the Goats if not for that mid-season implosion). The question now becomes: have Chivas just been beating up on lightweights?

The Dynamo are still in a good position, but their recent return hasn't been impressive. That said, they have every opportunity for the last laugh in the West as they finish against their two LA-based rivals for the conference crown. Sigi seems to have put the Sounders' recent bout of Expansion Fever behind him, and the new boys look destined for the post-season. The Fire will probably also back their way in despite being winless in their last five.

Hot or not? Dallas get the jump on the seven-team pack struggling to grab the final two spots in the Playoff Pack by virtue of the simple fact that they're winning games. Compare their last three results with the other six. Dallas has won all three. The other six teams? Nary a win to be found. Did I just blow your mind? Six teams in a playoff dogfight, and not one has won one of their last three games. Un-freakin-believable!

The Rapids will probably tiptoe across the line given their current edge on points and the craptastitude of the competition (as illustrated by the aforementioned "wins in the last three" stat), but can the Revs hold on to their #8 slot? Toronto seems to be sliding towards inevitable failure (again), while the Wizards seem to have left their "push" until too late. It's pretty sad that winning two of their last five games would even qualify as a push, isn't it?

DC United? Between the mounting injuries, a lame duck head coach, and the growing sense that the team's days in the DC metro area may be numbered, it's hard not to be a pessimist at this point. RSL? I suppose they still have a chance, but when push comes to shove, they've generally tripped over their own feet, had their bums scorched by the Fire Swamp, fallen into quicksand, and been gnawed on by Rodents Of Unusual Size.

And, of course, we all know that the Quakes and Red Bulls have been relegation-fodder for most of the year. The only question was who would finish bottom, with the Bulls' recent results all but ensuring that they can claim that ignominious position.

Bring Your Own Funny (I'm Fresh Out)

Courtesy of the Guardian...



I have little doubt that this will end up in one of Ives' caption-that-photo posts, so I'll just do a preemptive strike and get it out there a bit early to give you a head start (should you be the type to participate in said activities).

Suggestions?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe CONCACAWF (pronounced, con-cah-cough)? With the extra "W" for wrestling? Or something along the lines of..."Lunch money, little Jonny. Now!" Boy, I'm not very good at this crap. Good thing the photo does the funny bits for me, eh?

PS: What's Spector doing with his hand? Looks like he was trying to "walk like an Egyptian." Maybe Carlo Costly isn't a big Bangles fan?

Casey At the Bat?

I'm just going to throw this out there now that we're qualified for South Africa. Yes, we've a ways to go until roster-deadline day, but at this point, how many forwards do you think Bob takes? Given his previous selection pattern and the "tweener" status of Donovan and Dempsey, I think he takes three "pure" forwards.

Altidore and Davies are probably automatic at this point, but who's your #3? Ching is consistent and a hard worker, gives you a target option, but doesn't produce much. Cooper is big but doesn't play that way, drifts wide, and probably wants too much freedom for a Bradley team.

Could Conor Casey get the call based upon one decent 20 minute stretch that saw him net two goals, one with his shoulder, or does the flavor of the month hype wear off before May, 2010?

The Great Escape | a USA Match Reaction

I know that Honduras always chokes when the stakes are high...but come on! That was flat-out ridiculous. How do you miss a point blank header...and a PK? How do you let an angry bald paperweight put two in your net? And yet...and yet the US almost managed to equal the choking. From the absolute gift from Onyewu for Honduras' first, to giving up a late PK, to missing an absolute sitter that would have sealed the deal...

But we're in. Stow the shock and wipe away the dumbfounded looks. We're in.

Talking points?

* Bob's got a secret. Seriously. Who in their right mind thought we'd be starting Conor Casey in this match? Not I. In fact, my furiously scribbled notes are quite liberal with obscenity and question marks...up until the ugly first (off the shoulder unless my crappy web feed got the pixels swapped). I'm still in shock that a CONCACAF official allowed that to stand. The second was much better taken, and again, correct me if my crappy web feed had me seeing things, but wasn't it Casey getting fouled (though it looked a bit like he tripped over his own feet) to set up Donovan's FK for the match winner? Un-freakin-believable. BigSoccer meltdown in 5...4...3...

* Possession up top. It needs to be better. There were stretches where we looked semi-competent, but if I was counting the number of times poor or lazy touches from our forwards led to turning the ball over, I'd have run out of digits in short order. And no small few of those were in the center of the park in our own half, leading to direct opportunities for the opposition. Casey did it. Davies did it. Altidore did it. Even Donovan did it when he was in the "midway" role between Altidore and the midfield. Speaking of Donovan...

* Know when to hold 'em? So I get that it's worth having Donovan out there, even if he's in yellow peril for what might be a do-or-die final match. He even proved that he needed to be there with that lovely free kick goal. But why was he still out there in the later stages when he was clearly gassed and turning the ball over too frequently for my tastes? A tired player is a lazy player, not just with the passing, but with the tackling as well. That could have spelled disaster. I know he's our best player, but I still would have yanked him.

* Know when to Holden? Okay, say what you will about the PK giveaway (that was Holden, wasn't it? the web feed wasn't clear), but my abiding memory of StuHo's performance will be a positive one. That wasn't an easy atmosphere to play in, and the kid did pretty damn well. His cross in the first half should have opened our account, and his possession play in the later stages was welcome relief. But my favorite moment was when he proved that he may not be the most physically gifted or talented player on the park, but he's among the smartest. Time's ebbing away, Holden has the ball moving into the left corner. Okay, you think. Here's where he takes it to the flag and kills about 20 seconds, right? Wrong. He starts to make that move, but then sees an opening and threads a ball back for an attacker (Bornstein? UPDATE: Feilhaber) to run onto, leading to a one-on-one with the keeper that should have sealed the game. Bradley's response? Yank the kid and get another defender on. Sigh.

* All we need is just a little patience? Say it with me now, "patience, boys, patience." We had our moments, but all too often we would have the ball in the attacking end and would panic, looking for a shoot or through ball opportunity rather than holding possession. Prime guilty party? Junior. I think I counted three chances where he had even numbers or better on the break and went for the long-ranger rather than looking for a pass or to hold the ball. I sometimes forget how young the kid is, but if he's the midfield "general," he needs to be better there.


Quick hits?

* The Suazo addition played right into our hands. Sure they had a third forward, but they lost numbers in midfield, allowing us more leisure to hold and counter.

* Amateur hour in CONCACAF. The refs are always a problem, but they were a problem for both sides. Perhaps not equally, but fairly close. Frighteningly inconsistent.

* How long can Spector coast on that one good cross for a goal in the Confederations Cup? His crossing was a series of looping, aimless balls that were lucky to find a noggin before drifting out of play. Downright Hejduk-ian.

* Gooch gave away the first all on his own. Playing (or not playing) for Milan may have long-term benefits, but in the short term, it's hurting us.


Wanna hear me bitch about the Whistlemen a bit more? Or about Bob's substitution patterns or player selection? Not going to happen. I'm going to go get a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, put the laptop down, and just bask in the fact that we're in with a match to spare. I'll admit that I was expecting the worst going into this match. Honduras have been deadly at home in this cycle, and our road woes are legion. When I saw that we were starting Casey, I thought we were toast since we'd effectively be playing a half-man down. And even up two goals in the second half, the Honduras fightback fairly reeked with inevitability. How Pavon missed a PK and a point-blank header, I'll never know, but I can only assume it's the lingering stench of the Galaxy that's yet to wash off.

We're in...it feels strange to say it tonight rather than Wednesday, but...

USA! USA!

The Qualification Dance

Seeing as how I'm going to be watching a lot of soccer today, I just thought I'd drop this post in and update it throughout the day as thoughts occur to me.


Russia v. Germany

* So who wins the impersonator contest between the keepers? Akinfeev should get the nod for his "Iker Casillas," but he's missing the 2009-vintage beard. Ah well, at least he's keeping reasonably up to date on Facebook, as this Wednesday entry demonstrates...

As for Germany's René Adler? Well, he's on Facebook too (note the awesome cell phone self-portrait), but the 80's Duran Duran look isn't even in the right genre, is it?

* Germany sure is a tall team. Phillip Lahm must feel like a midget. Facebook? Yep. And he's pretty popular boy to boot (though no less original)...


* Whither the waves of dynamic Hiddink-ian assault?

* Sigh. Not quite the dramatic night in Russia, was it? Even down a man, Germany never looked worried. Which just goes to show you: never bet against Germany in a high-stakes international match...


Bahrain v. New Zealand

* Only caught the last 20 minutes. Big step for the Kiwis, as they escape with a goalless draw on the road. Of course, given the quality of the finishing on display (from what I saw), I think we can confidently predict that whichever of these sides qualifies will go three and out with nary a goal scored to speak of...

Sweden v. Denmark

* Lots of sound and fury from both sides in a pretty open game, but the chances are pretty much all coming from range and getting blocked or partially blocked. So do I take a chance on Italy-Ireland, knowing that both coaches are Italian or stick with this one?

Ireland v. Italy

* Good choice by me to watch a dramatic one. Italian coaches shipping set piece goals?

* So as an Irish defender charges out of position and allows Italy to scamper off on a late, late counter chance, I say to my daughter, "this is going to end badly for Ireland." And she says, "How do you know?" To which I have three possible replies, but I go with, "Ireland is excited that they're doing Italy in their home park, and their defense just got carried away with enthusiasm to win a tackle and is out of position." Sensible. But I could have also gone with, "C'mon, girl! This is freakin' Italy, it's what they always do," or the sad but true, "I watch enough DC United to know what happens next."

* Italian TV does 10-15 second spots whenever a substitution is made. Don't let American TV know, because then we'll be inundated with micro-commercials whenever there's an injury, the ball goes out of play, etc...